well, it’s been over six weeks of detoxing and i’m in the week of being at .75mg of klonopin and dealing with the return of fibromyalgia. i have to say, and it’s not the thing you want to say too loudly but, that for the last three days i have felt so great…this may be my pink cloud and i’ve read many accounts and received wise warnings about how tough it can become when one gets down to about the .75mg phase of detox. a .25 reduction at 2 or 3 mg is a smaller percentage than .25 at .75mg! even though this stands to reason….my hard head…i don’t think i would have looked at it in those regards. so reading other’s blogs and getting feedback in this online community has been extreeeeeemly valuable!
a note if you are a newcommer…like me:
if you’ve just started detoxing and tis happens to be one of the first blogs you’ve read, check a few of my links like “bipolar blast” or “furious season” to name just two…they are great sources of information, a lot of experience and they have many good links. i’m a newby to detoxing off meds, so i don’t have quite as rich a background and inventory of information on detoxing as these other bloggers do. and….as we are different, we all have different bodies that require, sometimes, other approaches when dealing with detoxing off our meds. that’s where reading as many blogs as you can find, is helpful. there are also good online support groups that people can suggest based upon their experience. i was conneted with a good benzo support group.
as for my progress. i met with a new therapist the other day and she was great. i think we’ll get along fantastically! she had an o’keefe and steiglitz poster on her wall from an exhibit she’d been to…she weaves baskets, does various types of art, mingles with the art community around here and has…..8 dogs. it’s a match made in heaven. so, my last therapist (who decided not to commute down to this area anymore) is a great match maker…i should add her link on here since i think she has a great philosophy.
i started physical therapy yesterday. on top of having fibromyalgia, my last few years of severe depression (bipolar), being very sedentary and my great “research project” in alcoholic relapse (which ended 18 months ago the 27th after joining AA sept. 27, ’97…yes i’ve been around for a few 24 hours), have really damaged my body. i developed some atrocious habits that are going to be horribly painful to correct. just the evaluation yesterday had me shaking and sweating from the pain! but i have to follow through or i will be doubled over permanantly and that would really suck! so in this case it’s going to take a lot of pain and persistance to rid of my physical pain…
but, on a happy note: yesterday a friend of mine and i took an hour long walk on the bike path in town. it was windy, but really a gorgeous spring day. it felt so good that if i had my old stamina we would have walked for another hour or two! but alas we had to get to our women’s AA mtg. after the meeting we ran errands and as a last resort for a certain product, we ventured into wally world. yes walmart came to our humble town and closed down all the other low cost stores like k-mart, aims etc. but, let’s not go there here! anyways…having spring fever we were joking and goofing like third graders and we got to a display of “tickle me elmos” (probably made in china)…i couldn’t resist…..i started poking the button on their bellies and my friend joined in and we set off over 20 elmos and ran giggling down one of the aisles. our philosophy is if we have to be labaled alcoholic and crazy then we’re going to enjoy some of the benefits that come with the labels….we laughed for the longest time and over and over again each time one of us mentioned “elmo” as we drove away!
so yesterday was a good day….95 hits to the site and 20 elmos!
one must laugh and laugh a lot to offset some of the pain in life. heck, we weren’t put on this earth to suffer! so painful as it can be at times, it is so important to muster the ability to have a good, deep belly laugh every day! it releases those happy endorphines….what an awesome, natural high and painkiller that does nothing but good for you!
so, today…..remember to laugh!
Hi,
I enjoy your blog. I have detoxed off my meds many times. The longest I have been completely off is 6 months. The pain is unbearable. Can you help me by explaining why you want off all your meds at this time? How long have you been sick?
Do you tend to abuse the meds? In your blog it doesn’t seem like you do. I’ve been thinking of going off them again, I never abuse them, I usually take too little. Thanks for your help.
Cynthia
hi cynthia,
thank you….well i have written in detail why i wanted off my drugs in several posts so as not to be redundant and lengthy you can check this one out:
“this afternoon, thinking back over the last month and half of detoxing of the meds and encountering my fibromyalgia…again” and, you can read “my story” i know it’s long…i’m no editor.
i am 44 now and still very fuzzy at times from detox. but i’m trying to hold it together, so bear with me if i mess up some dates a bit. withdrawal or not, i’m not the greatest historian!
i started therapy when i was in grade school…maybe 7 or 8. i was formally diagnosed biopolar in highschool (’78-79). i started my on and off again journey taking meds in college in maybe ’82 when i saught treatment for an eating disorder i’d d already had since i was 16. i have had too many experiences to go into here…they are mentioned in “my story”. this merry go ’round in sarted in about ’96…about a year before i got sober. i have been 100% complient but at 44, about 30 years of my life i have had some chemical coursing through my veins and i have no idea anymore, who i am. i can not honestly tell a doctor if a drug is working or not because i do not know….can not remember my personal “baseline” as a point of reference. they’ve shuffled me from one drug to another over the last 10 years and i can’t possible know what’s working what’s not. at a point i was convinced that none of it was helpingand was in fact contributing to my depression and making me very non-functional. i never did abuse my medications but i have a lengthy history of alcholism and have done some drugs in the past.
my last med i have to detox of off now is klonopin and it is a monster. for many years when i was taking it i thought it was just an anticonvulsant and was never warned that it was a benzo! and addicitng! i trusted my doctors too much. by the time i found out what it was i was 10 years into taking the stuff! i’m having a lot of withdrawal symptoms as i’ve been comming off lamictal, neurontin, wellbutrin and klonopin. but i have endured a lengthy list of drugs (also in “my story”) over the past apx 26 years! it has been a nightmare.
even though i’m having pain and other side effects, i feel awful darn good for the most part. nothing can be as bad as not being able to fully experience life! i have a tremendous faith that drives me. i am very active in my local AA. if benzos are something you’re trying to get off of there are several good online support groups. i can hook you up with the one i joined…if you like. i continue to see a therapist and am finding a new psychiatrist to have on the sidelines if something goes horribly wrong.
i wish you the best of luck and hope you find the wonderful experience, strength and hope that i’ve found in other’s blogs! i am always willing to share my story and lend what ever type of help i can offer.
final note: i am not a doctor or licensed professional. these are determinations i’ve made for myself. each of us is different and being off meds is a serious decission. each of us wanting off drugs has a different story and some have deteremined, with a doctor, that they may not be able to live without taking meds. so this is a very personal and individual situation. i hope you have a good doctor to work with and i hope you find useful support information from the many of us who are blogging about this topic.