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well, i do have a bit of a bee in my bonnet. it’s about the accelerated taper schedule i needed to follow. i don’t harp about my life’s circumstances…the one thing that can drag me down faster than my illness, because it won’t help things and it’s not the topic i’m working with. but i’m sensing some bristling of hair regarding faster tapers. i fairly, thouroughly understand the multifasceted need for doing a slow, supervised taper. many people make sacrifices in order to manage their health. but when you have nothing  left to sacrifice…well, i think there is a great lack of empathy for the circumstances of some people needing to get off meds. this may be a hard concept to wrap your head around, but protracted withdrawal is a luxury  people take for granted. i’m sure you can throw a list of how you have been able to do lengthy tapers with limited resources…but do you live in rural appalachia? my county (s.e. ohio, west virginia) and the neighboring ones, make national news for joblessness, hunger and poverty all the time. my mother sends me the articles from the chicago tribune! we do have an extraordinary situation here. being poor in or near a large city is very different than being poor and living hours from a major city and living in a region not known for being “progressive”…we are not a hot spot or major destination for research and development. yes we have pockets of that if you’re looking at obesity, diabetes, COPD, etc…poverty isa major contributor to those things. it is easy to condemn what you don’t know…believe me, there are a lot of unknowns. being poor and new on the learning scale does not make one the enemy…we just need accommodations…so many of us give up the good fight because of the stigma. but if you’re diagnosed mentally ill and you’re dealing with income issues maybe you can begin to have some insight into what “stigma” means?

i avoid this topic because going there…i can find myself feeling irritated….i’ve been butting up against it for too many years now. (i’m fortunate it hasn’t been my whole life. it may be harder because, for most of my life i was reasonably successful and i have a hard time understanding why i can’t pull myself up. but i’m understanding how people can “get stuck”. i just don’t want to stay stuck. i believe i can get out of this. but judgement and stigma can put more weight on you than almost anything…if you let it. i won’t so that’s why i’m writing instead of feeling hurt, defeated and just walking off. i don’t have a lot of love and support around me…except for AA where i let people in. i have no available, supporting, family or a spouse. my love and support has to come from with in and from god.

in an area where just day to day survival is a massive struggle…mental illness and surrounding issues are a luxury. that may be hard to swallow…but if one can’t understand that, then you are probably blissfully ignorant or naive! (check out mental illness in developing nations! my friend just came back from a 2 month visit with her family in kenya, after being in the US for over a decade. she was given diagnosis here but…that’s still another issue worthy of inspection so you don’t take for granted what you have here.) i am back in survival mode. i am not considered quite “poverty” and don’t have medicaid. i have medicare, but don’t have enough of an income to afford uninsured care (and most insured care). i can’t work right now, and often can barely manage a shower and making it to an AA meeting. thank god for AA because it’s free, but i have to be able to make the 25-30 minute drive to and from! but i don’t have a husband, family or really friends that support and understand withdrawal and fibromyalgia  issues. my friends and community are good people but this is not their gig. this is a rough spot to be in! i would have never understood it myself, if i hadn’t found myself in this position. living here over 11 years and i was ignorant and naive to this. being caught in the middle of the socioeconomic stratas is just that, caught. i’m not using the words ignorant or naive to be cruel or condescending…they are by definition, the appropriate words.

at least i can find some information that is helpful, but i have to be able to do it or it’s just “information”. i always thought that where there is a will there is a way.  but “way” requires money and access. and hey no money no access! even supplements are ungodly expensive. in the past i could afford them. so necessity is driving my schedule and my life now. some of us are…no all of us are doing our own personal best. and we all have our own personal necessities…i like to call it personal velocity.

this is largely uncharted area that we are going into. little is still really known, and much research is showing up about both withdrawal and fibromyalgia. we know more now, but we are still learning! each of us are pioneers in trying to deal with these health issues. i think we have to be supportive to everyone’s approach. there are many strong feelings and there will be in these fronts. but if we let our emotions and opinions divide us (even a very informed opinion is still…an opinion)  rather than showing support for the entire community we will greatly weaken our efforts to move forward. i have been fortunate to have been in AA for over 10 years. i have a lot of experience with diverse populations finding many paths to a common goal. it is the common goal that holds us alcoholics together, not our means. yes, we all practice the 12 steps, but even each take on the 12 steps can vary. if we scrawbled about the details, the AA support circle would shatter.

the common goal we in the “off meds” community share, is living drug free (or with minimal medication). we will get there if we maintain that focus. everyone has something valuable to contribute…for now we really only have each other. with love and room for growth…more people will join the ranks of being able to actively contribute and support others.

contempt prior to investigation…not cool. don’t pass uninformed judgement on the choices others have to make in their healthcare. we are not equally provided for or have equal access in that arena…not even in, god-bless-america. not even with information. we can not demand it becuase we have to do for ourselves…that recquires creativity and weighing options…assuming you’re fortunate enough to have them. PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE EQUAL ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE IN AMERICA…please understand this becuase it’s real and its now and it hurts.

big pharma would love to devide and concour us, but why bother if we do that to ourselves.

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     so far, i’m feeling a bit better today. i messed around with the dosage on my lyrica starting wednesday. i was feeling like i’d drank 2 pots of coffee…very uncomfortable…so i began cutting back a bit and…well, maybe the bottom fell out…but i also wonder if being so tightly wound for so many weeks may have not just worn me down…a little of both? the pain was comming back as i lessened the dose of lyrica…physical therapy was tough too. i pushed my dose back up last night.  gosh was i weak!  i’m holding steady at .5mg klonopin, but that comes down to apx 36 mg.s tonight.
 
      i fell asleep when i got back from town. but when i got home, it was so nice to have msgs from people who were concerned and it was nice to know people cared…i had gone to an AA mtg but just couldn’t make it to staying and going out to dinner (which i always do). having to back down because i was not feeling well was really a hard thing to do…i just try so hard to never let how i’m feeling come up or interfere. is that stoic or stupid?
 
     this sharing…that i’m not doing well or not feeling well…it is really hard for me. it’s hard to ask for help and it’s hard to let people help. that attitude has been a long time in the making. when i was young…if i said i wasn’t feeling well that was met with “you’re such a hypochondriac” and “stop trying to get attention”…so i stopped…got tough and learned to buck it up! it always felt like i had to be well or together so everyone else could be falling apart and sick. i mean someone had to take care of the cooking and cleaning! i never, never asked them for help…they wouldn’t have been there if i did. so…you live and you learn…some really unhealthy things.
       living quite far from town and my friends…well it’s a big deal for them to come all the way out here (esp. now with the gas prices)…everyone i know is long distance call from here. yes, if you’re about a mile from here, it’s a long distance call! so that whole long distance drive/call thing is an added barrier. (in the back of my mind besides my personal issue about sharing what’s really going on and asking for help.) “i can’t impose on people because the drive or calls would be too much”…that’s an easy out!
 
     the insane thing is that…my circle of friends is based on helping others (AA) and i really love helping others. but allowing people to help me…and maybe really allowing people to know me…i’m insecure that way. i guess i only feel people will be around if i’m needed or being useful. i believe there is a huge part of me that feels, if i’m needy people won’t want to be around me. yes, there are some big self-esteem issues flying around here…the pink elephant in the room! i know how good it feels to have someone ask you for help, and to be able to help. why can’t i give that opportunity to the people around me…even my counselor! some of it is a control issue…accepting help also means accepting advice and doing what others tell you to do.
 
     now, most of the people who i would talk with, have excellent advice…they are wise and have a lot of experience. would asking them for help, and doing what they tell me to do, be fatal?!  not likely…in fact, i’m sure most people’s advice to me, would be better/healthier than, the advice i sit around giving myself most of the time. by isolating this way, i live in a vacuum and that is not conducive to growth. i’ve always prided myself on learning, growing and…being open minded. but damn can i be a stubborn, closed-minded creature!
 
      it’s embarrassing to admit but, that is being so much like my family, who i loath. yes…i am a lot like them…in those regards. stubborn, and closed-minded. yuck, blagh, aarrghh…that was awful to say…but being honest here…that’s what i’m working towards. (i’ve also seen my family, and others, develop disabling issues with “learned helplessness”…having ailments and problems become a means of getting attention…that has turned me off a lot. i hate soap operas.)
 
     yes, letting go of some of the control i’ve taken over my life (that has overtaken my life) , and being more honest in the one area that i am in the most denial and dishonest about…my health and energy…that’s what needs work!
 
 
     this thing about being alone…it can be a hard thing to become comfortable with. normally, i love being alone quite a lot and rarely think of it. i’ve been running this farm over 11 years alone and it’s become a way of life. the last time i was married was over 15 years ago, and that was brief. most of the time it is a good life. it’s the “being alone” when i’m getting really sick, or the sickness is dragging along that…well, when you’re not feeling well…everything in the world that is remotely upsetting seems to come to mind and become magnified! but during an average to good day…don’t think about being alone at all. i prefer it (considering what some of my options where over the years!). besides, i have 4 dogs, a cat and 3 horses that are the best therapy and company, most of the time!
 
     it’s good to find friends and comrades in many places…even far away. the internet has been a life saver, as winters especially, can become very isolating (besides the illnesses). well it’s a small town here, and it’s also nice to know people who are not from here…for so many reasons.
      writing this blog is also helping me to see some of these really disabling issues…as writing this has also led me to read other people’s blogs and share…people have been awsome and the reaching out from others here is carrying over into how i’m living my “offline” life! thank you dear blogshpere friends…you are changing my life.
 
     oh gosh….feeling held back from chronic illness, pain, these meds,…it just gets really getting old sometimes. but…onward and upward (LOL).
 
     today i will tell someone how i’m really feeling and ask for help.
 
peace out!
 

 

 

 

 

 

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ok, i have to say that in so many ways i’m doing well. my pain is very low today. but this fuzzy, scattered mind of mine, being visited by “brain zaps” is…at the least…embarrassing! i try to call to set appointments or gather information and communicating with people is…frustrating. retrieving thougths and trying to string them together is like wading through an overgrown swamp! “heavy sigh

i don’t mean to isolate from people but by the end of the day yesterday i was feeling so bad that i left town early without telling anyone. i felt like i had a horrible allergic reaction…my eyes were swollen and burning and my lips, tongue and throat were swollen and tingling. i took 600mg of guafinesin last night and this morning (for the fibro…also on lyrica). when i woke up most of those symptoms were better but…

today, i want to at least go outside with the dogs. but even physical coordination is halted and confused. and with the four dogs…it’s more like herding cats becuase they have that “spring thing” going on. i want to take gracey down to see the horses…she was sniffing them through the fence this morning.

i want to scream! this is holding me back. i have the will and desire but i can’t make my brain and body work right….today is not a good day to drive but i want to get to a meeting (AA).

i’m not depressed or down. anxious…a bit. it’s actually a little exhausting to just try to do simple things because i have to fight this spastic thinking and coordination. just writing this is difficult and i hope it might make sense.

i have gotten a good deal of things accomplished today…little things. but it’s spring and i want to use this time to really get some stuff done. i did overdo it on friday…but heck…i have a lot of living to make up for…or so i feel.

this detoxing is worth it, i’m sure. i can get glimpses of me…but i can’t quite get there. i know, after reading other’s stories that i’m actually fairing pretty well considering this is only a couple of months into the process. i’m down to .5mg of my klonopin (from 2-3mg) and i will hold there for another week. all the other meds have been gone for weeks now (neurontin, lamictal, wellbutrin). maybe in a couple days i’ll get another reprieve and get to go run around again!

not having something to anchor me like some classes, work etc. is hard. but i don’t feel i can commit to something right now because i keep cycling through functional then non-functional days. i know you can relate.

i guess i don’t really have much to say other than to share where i’m at today…hanging in there, but frustrated. i still feel hopeful and am quite sure i’ve made a good decision to get rid of my psych meds. i just hope that having been on them for over 10 years hasn’t done irreversable damage.

but, my heart is hopeful…

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…my pollyana self is going to shine…go ahead and gag! ok now, this detoxing thing has been tough…horrible withdrawal symptoms that have left me curled up on my sofa, angry, irritable, depressed, not answering the phone and avoiding any activity that resembled “living”! how many times did i think “i’m not going to make it throught this”, “dear god is this how i’m going to feel forever”, “i’ve been down this road so many times i just don’t want to live in this much pain…i want to just die”. yes, i’ve been so sick from withdrawal, side effects, “firomyalgia/chronic fatigue”, undiagnosed salmonella, osteomyelitis, carpal tunnel matched with a broken heal (that was a good story), all the psych meds, being an alcoholic, all of my “disorders”: bipolar, borderline, ADHD, eating disorders…much of my life that…just wasn’t “good”. often it’s seemed there wasn’t enough “good” to fall back on, to give me hope that it would be worth sticking around…for what? more of the same?!

no…i’m not sticking around for more of the same. for one, things will never be the “same”…it is theoretically impossible! every moment of every day i’m changing and that is the most important factor in every equation for every situation yet to come. me! wonderful, changing, growing, learning….me! inspite of having a rough history and having done many things i can’t say i’m proud of…i love “me” now. because, i can look back over the years…the very full, very painful years and i can embrace them as mine…my experiences…my learning experiences. each one has been a building block for who i am today and it is the “me”, today, that i’m evaluating.

that ever changing, never static factor in the equation of my life…me.

you know, i’m not the victim of life’s circumstances and emotions anymore…they are not bombarding me, pushing me around, with me, simply reacting to one stimulus then the next. no….i am not a victim. i have some control over my self…personal responsibility and accountability…being pro-active and not reactive. i have decisions to make and actions to take.

acting on life, not letting life act on me!

everything i encounter is now an opportunity…to learn, to practice what i learned “last time”, to put into motion, my action…not reaction. i may be powerless over people, places and things…but me…how i perceive, approach and handle any given situation, emotion…what ever…that is up to me. and that is awesome!

so, today i’m feeling the wear and aches from over doing it the other day…wasn’t so wise a thing to do but, darn was it a wonderful day…i laughed so much and that was absolutely the best! it’s kind of cool to look and consider some years ago…a day would have only been a good day if it involved a major accomplishment at work, buying something new or a guy and of course a lot of alcohol! a few of those things could still feel good enough, but if i didn’t have laughter, if i didn’t do something good for someone else…healthy mind/soul/body things…those things have to be in the mix or…well…that’s the only way i can feel good about a day now. i have that small list…did you: pray or meditate; read your daily meditation; exercise; eat well; call some friends (a sponsee or sponsor); laugh; read; listen to music; get outside and “play”; do something with the dogs and horses; clean a part of the house; go to an meeting (AA)….there are just some things i should really do everyday…then, also, meet any committments i have…

don’t get me wrong…these days are rough…it isn’t easy. i’m vulnerable to feeling pain…anger, hopelessness and all. no, it’s not a matter of not experiencing what comes my way…it’s a matter of how long those feelings, thoughts and emotions stick around and what i do with them…not what they do with me. i’m by no means perfect this way…as we say…it’s progress not perfection.

and i…am perfectly imperfect!

(oh, i’m down to .5mg klonopin and still taking the lyrica.)

my prayers continue to go out to bob fiddaman and all of you!

peace out!

fiddaman links:

re: GSK’s legal intimidation of bob fiddaman and his fair and truthful video about glaxosmithkline and paxil:

bob f’s original video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odAcIY6I_do

fiddaman’s site: http://fiddaman.blogspot.com/2008/03/gsk-lawyers-target-seroxat-campaigner.html

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by now you may know my story….i’m down to apx. .62 of klonopin, (i am on 300mg of lyrica) and am managing my bipolar, alcoholism, fibromyalgia, pain and withdrawal symptoms best as i can. it’s difficult, and work, but i have my secret weapon!

ok this may not seem medically sound (but it is, very). i’m not promoting or selling anything here. you don’t need any special prescription or expensive supplements. there is no diet to follow and you needn’t exert yourself in moving from your sofa or bed! it’s free! i’ve mentioned it before but…..it’s….laughing!

now,  if you’ve been in a lot of physical discomfort and flattened or tied in knots for weeks you must just want to say “yeah, right”…and i totally get that.  but, when we are in pain, our minds clouded and confused and tired beyond description not to mention hosting a grab bag of symptoms, our mind just can’t possibly go towards smiling let alone laughing. or can it?  there is nothing funny about detox…or can there be? i’ve written about my symptoms and believe me…i’ve definitely been way laid by a slew of withdrawal side effects, depression, bipolar, and fibromyalgia too. i’ve curled up on my sofa, not answering the phone and not even able to focus on what was on tv. i’ve been as angry as a cat with a clothespin on its tail.  no…i was in no mood to laugh.

 well, in-spite of that statement, most days i did manage to pull out at least a smile or happy word or slight laugh thanks to AA,  my friends, and my dogs. many days i look at my dogs and think….they didn’t ask for me to be sitting here so distraught that all i do is let them out, feed them and then stress them out by crying or being in pain. yes it does upset my dogs (and my friends) when i’m in pain. if not for me, for their sake, i have to muster some moments of happiness, some how, because they need me to! and, i need it too.

the times when i can laugh, even if i’m being sarcastic about how i’m feeling or my situation…heck my friends need to hear me lighten up because they’re used to someone who, most of the time, behaves as if she hasn’t a care in the world (far from it)…i need that too. it’s not a facade…that’s how i am…a bit of a pollyanna. i know, go and gag. but the weight of the world, even with out detox, could be unbearable if i didn’t have this little….something, i don’t know what…just this little thing that drives me to laugh, i would have given in to despair years ago. laughter has brought me through so many situations….i’d be lost with out having it in my life. and i just plain love the high! and it’s a high that won’t make me have to pick up another 24 hour chip!

 these days the world is so heavy with gas prices, inflation, elections, horrible shootings, war…god i’m going to stop because i could fill a page or ten and i know you all could add another ten to mine. these are some challenging days that, unfortunately, are here to stay for a good (or not so good) while!

so, we have some decisions to make, and this is a decision

i always refer to victor frankl and his writings about his time in concentration camp. when i think about him, i have to kick myself in the butt and say “even this, that i’m going through, is not worth giving in to total despair”. now the world, detox and victor frankl are nothing to laugh about.

but can they inspire one to try to raise up and try to laugh? hell yes!

laughter is free and laughter is contagious. it does no harm but in fact does a world of good and has many health benefits. it increases our heart rate and exercises our lungs. it engages certain muscles and best of all, releases those happy hormones that can give the best and healthiest high! not to mention, fight pain!

so why do we shy away from something that has no bad side effects and promotes good physical and mental health and makes us feel so darn good? i don’t know…i believe we all want to feel good. isn’t that why we are detoxing off meds, getting sober, and perhaps taking some meds? isn’t that why some of us drank…to feel better? no, being free of meds and sober wouldn’t be of much value if it just left us feeling horrible. that defeats the point of it all, right?

yes, i love laughing and i try to make others laugh when i’m working with them to deal with their life’s issues. laughter may not make a problem go away, but it takes some of the power of that problem away…it can kind of give us a sense of being in control…

 you don’t believe me….read this excerpt and then check out some of the links:

from the MAYO CLINIC:

“The benefits of a belly laugh

Laughter’s benefits on your health are no joke. A sense of humor can’t cure all ailments, but data are mounting about the things that laughter can do.

Short-term benefits
A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn’t just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body, beginning with your face. Laughter can:

  • Stimulate your organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
  • Activate your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
  • Soothe tension and tummy aches. Laughter can also ease digestion and stimulate circulation, which helps reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Long-term effects
Laughter isn’t only good for a quick pick-me-up, though. It’s also good for you over the long haul. Laughter may:

  • Improve your immune system.Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can impact your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. In contrast, positive thoughts actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more serious illnesses. In fact, in one study, people with cancer who watched a humorous video showed less stress and an increase in a particular cell activity that’s beneficial in fighting diseases such as HIV and cancer.
  • Relieve pain. Research increasingly shows that laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers.
  • Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make difficult situations a little bit easier. One study of nurses who work in emergency rooms found that nurses who use humor in dealing with their patients and co-workers experience greater job satisfaction and feelings of personal accomplishment than do those who remain dour during their shifts.”

again, that is from the mayo clinic, and check out their site for more information “how to learn to laugh”. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-relief/SR00034

now try some of these or google phrases like “laughter is the best medicine”, the benefits of laughter” etc. you won’t believe what you’ll find. maybe you find that long lost smile and dash that sense of hopelessness. what do you have to loose? feeling miserable? ditch it and find something silly!:

from the MDA site: http://www.mda.org/publications/Quest/q34laughter.html

a silly list of funny dittys: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Woods/7822/laff.html

laughter is the best medicine: http://www.newfrontier.com/1/beyoo795.htm

these were some good points on laughter: http://www.laughtercoach.com/home_whylaugh.html

here’s my search page on laughter: http://www.ask.com/web?q=Researching+Laughter+the+Best+Medicine&qsrc=6&o=0&l=dir

make a decision, a commitment today, to do this one good thing for yourself and those who love you…even if you think the only one who loves you right now is your cat…your cat needs you to laugh.

peace out!

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i had been doing so well comming off my meds. i know i’m at the horrible .75mg stage with my klonopin and cutting down now…well i might have to slow my rate of titration. now i don’t feel any worse. the pain in my neck is at about a 7…that’s par for the course. but i’m bummed because it was a sunny but chilly day out, and i was going to meet with my friend in town, and walk or something…probably go and work out in the community center since it was cold out. i was feeling a bit sleepy so i laid down at about 11am. it’s was 4:00 before i woke up! i just slept away 5 hours of a sunny day! i’m still just a wash, but i have to get to my AA mtg and find my sponsee. she was supposed to do her 4th step today! but you know people and that pesky old 4th step! well…i will just have to stretch out and wash my face and do a 2 boot scoot into town and salvage what chilly but gorgeous sun we have left! aaaaaaaargh

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     well, it’s been over six weeks of detoxing and i’m in the week of being at .75mg of klonopin and dealing with the return of fibromyalgia. i have to say, and it’s not the thing you want to say too loudly but, that for the last three days i have felt so great…this may be my pink cloud and i’ve read many accounts and received wise warnings about how tough it can become when one gets down to about the .75mg phase of detox.  a .25 reduction at 2 or 3 mg is a smaller  percentage than .25 at .75mg! even though this stands to reason….my hard head…i don’t think i would have looked at it in those regards. so reading other’s blogs and getting feedback in this online community has been extreeeeeemly valuable!

     a note if you are a newcommer…like me:

       if you’ve just started detoxing and tis happens to be one of the first blogs you’ve read, check a few of my links like “bipolar blast” or “furious season” to name just two…they are great sources of information, a lot of experience and they have many good links. i’m a newby to detoxing off meds, so i don’t have quite as rich a background and inventory of information on detoxing as these other bloggers do. and….as we are different, we all have different bodies that require, sometimes, other approaches when dealing with detoxing off our meds. that’s where reading as many blogs as you can find, is helpful. there are also good online support groups that people can suggest based upon their experience.  i was conneted with a good benzo support group.

     as for my progress. i met with a new therapist the other day and she was great. i think we’ll get along fantastically! she had an o’keefe and steiglitz poster on her wall from an exhibit she’d been to…she weaves baskets, does various types of art, mingles with the art community around here and has…..8 dogs. it’s a match made in heaven. so, my last therapist (who decided not to commute down to this area anymore) is a great match maker…i should add her link on here since i think she has a great philosophy.

      i started physical therapy yesterday. on top of having fibromyalgia, my last few years of severe depression (bipolar), being very sedentary and my great “research project” in alcoholic relapse (which ended 18 months ago the 27th after joining AA sept. 27, ’97…yes i’ve been around for a few 24 hours), have really damaged my body. i developed some atrocious habits that are going to be horribly painful to correct. just the evaluation yesterday had me shaking and sweating from the pain! but i have to follow through or i will be doubled over permanantly and that would really suck! so in this case it’s going to take a lot of pain and persistance to rid of my physical pain…

     but, on a happy note: yesterday a friend of mine and i took an hour long walk on the bike path in town. it was windy, but really a gorgeous spring day. it felt so good that if i had my old stamina we would have walked for another hour or two! but alas we had to get to our women’s AA mtg. after the meeting we ran errands and as a last resort for a certain product, we ventured into wally world. yes walmart came to our humble town and closed down all the other low cost stores like k-mart, aims etc. but, let’s not go there here! anyways…having spring fever we were joking and goofing like third graders and we got to a display of “tickle me elmos” (probably made in china)…i couldn’t resist…..i started poking the button on their bellies and my friend joined in and we set off over 20 elmos and ran giggling down one of the aisles. our philosophy is if we have to be labaled alcoholic and crazy then we’re going to enjoy some of the benefits that come with the labels….we laughed for the longest time and over and over again each time one of us mentioned “elmo” as we drove away!

      so yesterday was a good day….95 hits to the site and 20 elmos!

      one must laugh and laugh a lot to offset some of the pain in life. heck, we weren’t put on this earth to suffer! so painful as it can be at times, it is so important to muster the ability to have a good, deep belly laugh every day! it releases those happy endorphines….what an awesome, natural high and painkiller that does nothing but good for you!

    so, today…..remember to laugh!

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