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Posts Tagged ‘chronic pain’

if you have fibromyalgia you have wrestled with your mental acuity and cognitive functions but probably have been told that “what you’re going through is just normal” or maybe “you’re hypersensitive” and you feel like you’re going crazy!  well this research piece from the national fibromyalgia association may help you feel validated…people with FMS do experience loss of cognitive function…

Cognitive Function & Fibromyalgia

by Jennifer Glass, Ph.D. and Denise Park, Ph.D., The University of Michigan

“I can deal with the pain, but the memory and thinking problems really worry me.”  “The physical symptoms weren’t as frightening as the memory problems.”  “The most devastating effect for me has been the cognitive impairment.”

If you have fibromyalgia (FM), then these quotes may describe what you have felt as well. Many FM patients complain of cognitive (or mental) symptoms such as memory failures (both long-term and short-term), difficulties with attention, and with finding the right words. Our research focuses on these cognitive problems in FM patients.

Our research shows that there really is cognitive dysfunction in FM patients.  read the article: http://www.fmaware.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5280

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i would like to say that this is another journey i don’t want to see come to an end but i’d be lying. detoxing off of my psych meds has made my top three list of most difficult things to do. but to think that it ends here would be…well let’s say getting the drugs out of the system is a only a portion and beginning of journey.

as i learned from getting sober…more than once…there are a lot of life skills i need to acquire, to make up for what i was depending on the drugs to do. i was lucky in that i’ve had a great foundation and have worked with some people who’ve really put me to work! i see so many people living with the illusion that the drugs/meds are “the therapy”. gosh folks, if we don’t know by now, we’ll never learn…that they are only a brief/portion means to an end. they can help clear things up and and make a newly diagnosed person a little more capable of coping (which in the beginning can feel like a lot). but if you do not develop a good set of life skills to depend on…you will start heading off in an even worse direction. and, having mental illness, depression, bipolar, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or any chronic disorder…we shouldn’t feel singled out as having an added burden of the need to learn these skills…granted we might have some more work to do, but all people would be wise, to be conscious of these simple, almost obvious skills that need to be created and sharpened.

i just have to say, that being on line with this journey has been one the greatest, free, adjunct therapies i could recommend. i’ve been able to put my stuff out there, and receive input. i’ve had the chance to read other people’s experiences and tips and have good exchanges of information and support! the support to gather more information and research…to be an informed consumer and participant in managing my life has been invaluable.

but, my journey is just beginning. the meds may be gone by the weekend but learning to live with out them is the next…the real part of the journey. i got off these meds so my life would be better and now it is time to set my sights on that process. i will still have the lyrica to contend with, but one thing at a time…doing to much at one time was part of the mess i got into.

in the past i’ve discussed various things that i’ve been picking up over the years and past months…such things to look at as: laughter, spirituality, brain exercises for mental acuity, using support groups (blogging), etc…there is a lot of discussion about diet, exercise and supplements in everyone’s blogs. all of these things are great life skills to work on that make our life’s great. i am still being exposed to more books and practices that support healthy living. that learning, is never ending.

i’m really looking forward to continuing my journey off meds both on line as well as…in my life. i do feel reeeeally good! (allergies and fibro…i can deal with that) there is much more to come thanks to being able to get off my meds (fellow bloggers), staying sober (AA), good living (counselor, friends, neighbors) and spiritual living (i should go back to church).

so moving forward here. my next effort is getting back into grad school. they could always just say “no”, but they could say yes (maybe with provisions)…but what ever happens…happens. as i get more busy with those ventures i will have less time to write here. but, my writing here is very important to me so, it is something that has to go on the list of “things to do”. if i don’t post much in a week it is likely because i’m doing well. of course when i’m having a more difficult day, i tend to not write either, but let’s go with the thought that i’m not here, because i’m out there putting the metal to the test!

this is just another beginning!

peace out!

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so many of us that have lived with a diagnosis of mental illness or chronic disorders such as fibromyalgia and chronic pain also suffer from a loss of mental acuity and function. it can be the result of long term use of psych meds, pain meds, benzodiazapines, etc….it can also result simply from atrophy, attributed to a lack of use…

in considering the horrible side effects of the drugs we have taken and are now withdrawing from, many of us have turned to suppliments and certain dietary guidelines along with excercise, meditation and various holistic approaches to being well. probably one of the most disconcerting side effects of the medication and withdrawal is what happens to our mental acuity and functioning. we become fuzzy, confused, struggle with memory, have “brain zaps”, our vision is poor, speach is difficult…our hearing, smell and taste is off and coordination is challenged…the list can be lengthy. and while we take various suppliments and eat certain diets, etc. all of which can be expensive, but, important to support healthier functioning of our body…there is another thing we rarely discuss that is free and freeing. exercising our brains!

yes, our neurological system needs a good workout on a regular basis, just as our muscular, skeletal and cardiovascular systems do. when we’re depressed and struggling with the horrible mental side effects our first reaction is to isolate and shut down. were no longer receiving any stimulus or forced to use our neurological system in the way we used to, in day to day living. comming out of “hibernation”, as i call it, is yet another difficult thing to navigate. but how we manage that, determines our whole interaction with the outside world. stop and think about all of the tasks you did or would normally do just in your morning routine. all the interactions being transacted…comming and going, from your system and the world around you! if you’ve shut down and you’re simply going from the bed to the sofa, sleeping all day or watching tv, maybe eating something but not really cooking, avoiding the phone and conversations…just barely existing (like me)…well with all that, (over more than a years time) you can probably see your muscles atrophy…i sure did…and, i lost bone density! i mean, the physical evidence of being sedintary or functioning at a very reduced rate, is overwhelming to look at.

now what do you think has been happening to your brain?

well, not only can the trauma from the meds, but becomming sedintary and barely functioning also, wastes away our brains. and, no wonder we’re foggy, have poor memory, can’t communicate well, etc! i’m struggling with it, as may be evidence in my writing! i’m embarrassed to have to mingle with people, talk on the phone and worst even…speaking in front of large groups! it’s a horrible struggle. few can imagine the mental gymnastics you’re doing to compensate! yes, i have (in the last week and few months) spoken in front of large groups…i’m in AA so even in a regular meeting…it proceeds around the room of 20 or so and it’s soon my turn! gasp! i mess up, loose my train of thought…but i’ve told people what’s going on with my meds and detox. i just get to a point where i’m lost so i laugh, flip my hand up  and pass! BUT I TRIED…that’s the important part of the exercise. simple social gatherings, time with friends and group sessions offer us opportunities to exercise our minds. (sound like a no brainer?) hell, i’ve even woven and stumbled my way through two leads in front of groups 15 and 50! 

those opportunities and others are my chance to share this experience with others. i get to show them first hand, what has happened and why.

i have so many encounters now, and i am “hyper-aware” of my neurological processes! (yet another mental obsession…AAs will get that one) facing all these interactions, as i’m trying to make my way back in to the world…well i just take a deep breath when i leave the house every day, and i don’t hold it! i take a lot of deep breaths all day (it slows me down, gives me a pause).

but it’s in the doing that we rehabilitate ourselves. our mental processing will improve if we use it and take it out to exercise too! no, don’t leave your brain behind…it may be a scattered mess and you may feel a shell of yourself…but with increased use you can see parts of you slowly return. it’s really no different than if you received a traumatic brain injury in an accident…consider what persons with TBI go through, to get rehabed. well, we kind of have to follow some of that model, i’m afraid. there is no pill or vitamin that is going to do it all. hell that’s how we got in the trouble we’re in with these meds…someone told us to take this pill and our bipolar, depression, pain….would get better. doesn’t work that way does it?  to even really deal with all of our problems, meds alone could not work. we would have to incorporate such techniques as behaviour modification, thought changing…they all require work….that dirty four letter word…work. we are not lazy people and in fact the majority of us are quite intelligent by all measures. so we’ve been misled and the social and medical communities don’t have enough funds or manpower to assist us 100%. well, if we want to get there…it is evidence to me by observing the blogging community…that the initiative must lie with in…each of us. we must draw upon what we can create and develop ourselves…we can read the research on the wall….”they” are not going to provide extra help for us, and things are getting worse.

so how do we repair our shattered minds. many very good therapies, approaches suggestions have been shared in the bloggesphere, and i’ve picked up on a lot for my own use! i love it…people helping people…awesome. this is how it works!

but back to the mind….i wander and digress (surprised?).  well i’m starting here…a simple search for “brain exercises”: http://www.ask.com/web?qsrc=178&o=0&l=dir&dm=&q=brain%20exercises just look! there’s a lot being marketed to this topic, but you can find resources that are free.

right off i find a simple article from webmd:

Train Your Brain With Exercise

“Exercise is really for the brain, not the body. It affects mood, vitality, alertness, and feelings of well-being.” to read more: http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/train-brain-exercise

here is an article that says exactly what i’m trying to convey…but they have some creative and simple exercises you can incorporate into your daily routine:

Reviewer Name: Ferguson, Monica O. M.D.
Date Last Reviewed: 12-06-2005
Published Date: 02-06-2008

Just as cross-training helps you maintain physical fitness, using your brain in a variety of ways can help you keep your mental fitness, strength and flexibility strong.

“Presenting the brain with non-routine or unexpected experiences using combinations of your physical senses — vision, smell, touch, taste and hearing — keeps your thinking and perception active and growing,” says Lawrence C. Katz, Ph.D., professor of neurobiology at Duke University Medical School in Durham, NC, and coauthor of Keep Your Brain Alive. “It stimulates patterns of neural activity that create more connections between different brain areas and causes nerve cells to produce additional brain nutrients.”

Dr. Katz calls these brain-stimulating exercises “neurobics.” “Just like aerobic exercises emphasize different muscle groups to enhance coordination and flexibility, neurobic exercises involve activating many different brain areas to increase the range of mental motion,” he says. “They result in a mind that’s fit to meet various challenges — whether it’s remembering a name, mastering a new computer program or staying creative in your work.” to read more: http://www.healthline.com/sw/wl-neurobics-brain-exercises-for-on-the-job

ok so my formatting skills…don’t have them, but hang with me here…

here’s a blog: “Your window into the emerging field of science-based Brain Fitness, its implications for Health & Wellness, Education, Leadership, and more.”  http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog/ this may give you some interesting links about the brain and how we maintain it and improve it!

now when i mentioned exercising the brain i was talking about using techniques that are like “brain teasers” and other literal “brain exercises”. but this new york times article discusses how regular physical exercise can enhance brain function:

“Scientists have suspected for decades that exercise, particularly regular aerobic exercise, can affect the brain. But they could only speculate as to how. Now an expanding body of research shows that exercise can improve the performance of the brain by boosting memory and cognitive processing speed. Exercise can, in fact, create a stronger, faster brain. “

to read more: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/19/sports/playmagazine/0819play-brain.html

i checked out AARP (ok, i’m only 44, but who would know better than AARP, about this issue) and when i was talking about simple social interactions as being a good exercise, here goes:

“Social Connections and Brain Health

A major public-health study involving more than 116,000 participants found that people with strong relationships had less mental decline and lived more active, pain-free lives without physical limitations.

Other studies suggest that people with the most limited social connections are twice as likely to die over a given period than those with the widest social networks. Many experts believe that social isolation may create a chronically stressful condition that accelerates aging.”

to read more: http://www.aarp.org/health/brain/takingcontrol/stay_socially_connected.html

even if things are not specific…geared towards “off meds and detoxing”…for the most part, with in this topic,  they translate.

if i do too much research on this i take away an important exercise you can do to help your brain rehab from this horrible storm it’s weathered! time to get the fog out…

peace out!

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looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults. how does everyone navigate their mazes of healthy living?

hi,
i’ve been out trying to catch up on all that has been let slide, while the withdrawal process has been a little too rough to manage well. this spring weather and sun has been great medicine. and…i’m so sick of being stuck inside over the winter, not feeling well, that i just have to be out there in the sun! but i’m at .25mg of klonopin and hanging in there with the lyrica (and yes, the lyrica is a bit of a problem for me). i’m glad to say that i’m substance free, barring those two! (off lamictal, neurontin and wellbutrin to name a few) it’s progress! soon they’ll be gone too.

since i have my withdrawal tied into a re appearance of my fibromyalgia…navigating between what is fibro and what’s benzo withdrawal has seemed difficult. i guess i’m feeling that it doesn’t matter which is causing symptoms since they’re nearly identical. the protocol for managing either of them is really the same. so i feel trying to fritter away over the details may be time just…frittered away.

has anyone experienced such co existing conditions? i think the “trauma” of withdrawal triggered the fibro, as it might trigger other similar conditions (chronic pain, CFS). i’ve read a lot of research on fibro and usually there is a “traumatic” event (illness, loss, etc) that precipitates the initial onset of fibro and once you have fibro…such events will trigger a reappearance of symptoms.

since my ultimate goal is to be free of pharmaceutical drugs…i don’t want to follow my dr.s’ impulse to pull out the prescription pad at the appearance of a new symptom. fibro and benzo withdrawal host a variety of shared symptoms…that’s just how it is. but, we all seem to be on the same page now and my docs and i seem to agree that, for me, consistently working towards lifestyle adjustments are the best medicine.

maintaining momentum is hard. there are many times that i don’t feel i have the energy, or i have too much pain to deal with the physical therapy, staying on a certain nutritional path and doing all that i need to do to support myself. but when i can get myself on a roll…create a momentum from the time i wake up (yes, personal velocity!)…and maintain it, i do better. yes it’s a struggle. i get very frustrated as my symptoms and treatment pull me in seemingly opposite directions at times. it takes everything i have, to get going in the right direction and maintain it. i often want to stop and nap, but if i slow down part way through the day, i will find myself down for the count, feeling achy and bad. i need to maintain my momentum and use my personal velocity techniques. (the physics of the mind…a great topic!)

finding balance is hard. when i feel good…i really feel good (compared to having felt horrible for months)…i just want to go all out and…for example: i’m walking with a friend…we’re naturally high energy and kind of competitive…the walk will turn into walk/jog…then walk/run and of course it ends in a few races. i’m flying and laughing and it feels just so darn freeing and great! but then…there are the consequences of “over doing it”. i will usually go down for the count, for a day or even two for even a small burst of exertion! i guess it’s similar to being on a restricted diet for diabetes and taking a taste of a desert…well then it tastes so good you eat the whole thing and boom! the sugar high and then crash. well, and the temptation of anything mildly addicting as even exercise can be is hard to resist…as a bipolar…moderation is hard word to pull into my vocabulary…i love my “highs”…i’m also a long recovering alcoholic and addict and believe me…that also lends to my nature of “excess and exploitation”. yes, i can be addicted and abuse my own “feel good” chemicals that my body generates. i can trip my body into full production and ride that puppy! harmless? in excess, actually it does hurt me. abusing my own biological highs will drag me down. and i know a lot of people with similar histories to mine discover and exploit…for example…the “runners high”. another interesting topic to chase!

laughter helps pain, depression, immune system, etc. at least laughing, which helps my pain and depression immensely,  has no ill side effects (for an average person, not post surgery etc.). i can laugh to excess…well except for being seen as obnoxious by those not partaking…there really is nothing bad that can come of excessive laughing. so, laughing is a luxury i can indulge in. i do make an effort to laugh and my friends know the routine. i know all the good places to score a laugh from. i had to take a friend to “evil wal mart” the other day. if you go to the childrens’ toy section…seek out toys like “tickle me elmo”…set off as many as you can. juvenile…yes. but in matters such as these…the need to score a laugh…who cares what anyone thinks! it is never right to score laughter at another person’s expense (it’s not good for your karma, etc). no, no one or thing should be damaged in the process. well, some things can be damaged…i had a pile of old records that had been left in my garage…they’d been water damaged…i had brought my bb gun over and was shooting cans (yes, juvinile hill billy entertainment), but then we decided to play skeet with the records. i shouted “pull”, my friend tossed an album and i shot it in the center area! we laughed and played album skeet for awhile. the album i shot was an old grateful dead album. well…it was dead already.

finding the good, healthy habits in my childhood. i think of things that made me laugh when i was a child. it seems children laugh more often and more freely than adults do. it’s another healthy skill we loose as adults. we’re so groomed to behave ourselves and act like adults that it can smother the very healthful skills that can keep us well. (belly breathing is another skill well loose as we “mature”.)

yes, thinking back to my younger years, unfolds many answers to health in my…gulp…middle age.

so, that’s where the bb gun came from…my youth. when we were younger we spent a lot of time in the northwoods of wisconsin. our parents would be inside playing cards, talking and drinking beer. we’d go in and collect cans as they were emptied, put them up on the log pile and shoot them with a bb gun. as long as the cans kept coming we had a good time. it doesn’t matter that there was always a great presence of alcohol and drinking and thus the behavior issues…darn it the cans and shooting are what i’m going to remember! i may have not had the greatest childhood but i do have many good times i can refer to. looking back at my childhood in this way also helps me “reframe” what has been such a sad portion of my life. i’m learning to pull these great positive things from what was a dark and murky area. gradually, my childhood is becomming a wonderful resource! cool side effect.

looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. i look towards embracing my personal velocity to hold on to my momentum which will carry me through the day. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults.

just how does everyone else find their way through the mazes that can lead to healthy living?

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it’s not a bad day today. the allergy symptoms seem to have subsided. i took zyrtec and am taking 600mg guafinesin so that should help. i wish i could find a better way to deal with the allergies. i have a very lazy immune system with several issues that can’t be nailed down. i had a positive ANA, the obligatory sky high epstein barr titers, i do not produce enough white cells, my sed rate never raises when i have an infection…and so on…. (the guaf is for my fibromyalgia but….i’m still on lyrica 300mg and down to .5mg of klonopin.)

i’m just a bit fuzzy but it’s way better than where i was the last two days.

i’ve started “the road back” program for detoxing off the benzos with their recommended suppliments. i’m not noticing any problems with the protien suppliment and i could certainly use more protien in my diet. i’m pretty much a vegitarian and i have a bit of a difficult time keeping my protien intake up there…but that’s from laziness not the ability for a vegitarian diet to provide adequate protien. i do eat fish and occasionally “good” chicken. i’m just not fond of meat and that needn’t be discussed as i’m sure you all know all the politics of meat.

well i’m looking forward to a decent day. i have a new counselor (apt today) i’m working with since i severed ties with the psychiatric group i’d been with for over 10 years, when they said they wouldn’t work with me anymore if it was my decission to get off my meds. i thumb my nose to them! she seems pretty cool and we get along just great (art, dogs, no meds etc…).

i don’t have any bees in my bonnet today…but see the post below for some good links!

well i hope everyone is having as beautiful a day as we’re having in s.e. ohio! it’s appalachian spring here!

peace out

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ok, i have to say that in so many ways i’m doing well. my pain is very low today. but this fuzzy, scattered mind of mine, being visited by “brain zaps” is…at the least…embarrassing! i try to call to set appointments or gather information and communicating with people is…frustrating. retrieving thougths and trying to string them together is like wading through an overgrown swamp! “heavy sigh

i don’t mean to isolate from people but by the end of the day yesterday i was feeling so bad that i left town early without telling anyone. i felt like i had a horrible allergic reaction…my eyes were swollen and burning and my lips, tongue and throat were swollen and tingling. i took 600mg of guafinesin last night and this morning (for the fibro…also on lyrica). when i woke up most of those symptoms were better but…

today, i want to at least go outside with the dogs. but even physical coordination is halted and confused. and with the four dogs…it’s more like herding cats becuase they have that “spring thing” going on. i want to take gracey down to see the horses…she was sniffing them through the fence this morning.

i want to scream! this is holding me back. i have the will and desire but i can’t make my brain and body work right….today is not a good day to drive but i want to get to a meeting (AA).

i’m not depressed or down. anxious…a bit. it’s actually a little exhausting to just try to do simple things because i have to fight this spastic thinking and coordination. just writing this is difficult and i hope it might make sense.

i have gotten a good deal of things accomplished today…little things. but it’s spring and i want to use this time to really get some stuff done. i did overdo it on friday…but heck…i have a lot of living to make up for…or so i feel.

this detoxing is worth it, i’m sure. i can get glimpses of me…but i can’t quite get there. i know, after reading other’s stories that i’m actually fairing pretty well considering this is only a couple of months into the process. i’m down to .5mg of my klonopin (from 2-3mg) and i will hold there for another week. all the other meds have been gone for weeks now (neurontin, lamictal, wellbutrin). maybe in a couple days i’ll get another reprieve and get to go run around again!

not having something to anchor me like some classes, work etc. is hard. but i don’t feel i can commit to something right now because i keep cycling through functional then non-functional days. i know you can relate.

i guess i don’t really have much to say other than to share where i’m at today…hanging in there, but frustrated. i still feel hopeful and am quite sure i’ve made a good decision to get rid of my psych meds. i just hope that having been on them for over 10 years hasn’t done irreversable damage.

but, my heart is hopeful…

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…my pollyana self is going to shine…go ahead and gag! ok now, this detoxing thing has been tough…horrible withdrawal symptoms that have left me curled up on my sofa, angry, irritable, depressed, not answering the phone and avoiding any activity that resembled “living”! how many times did i think “i’m not going to make it throught this”, “dear god is this how i’m going to feel forever”, “i’ve been down this road so many times i just don’t want to live in this much pain…i want to just die”. yes, i’ve been so sick from withdrawal, side effects, “firomyalgia/chronic fatigue”, undiagnosed salmonella, osteomyelitis, carpal tunnel matched with a broken heal (that was a good story), all the psych meds, being an alcoholic, all of my “disorders”: bipolar, borderline, ADHD, eating disorders…much of my life that…just wasn’t “good”. often it’s seemed there wasn’t enough “good” to fall back on, to give me hope that it would be worth sticking around…for what? more of the same?!

no…i’m not sticking around for more of the same. for one, things will never be the “same”…it is theoretically impossible! every moment of every day i’m changing and that is the most important factor in every equation for every situation yet to come. me! wonderful, changing, growing, learning….me! inspite of having a rough history and having done many things i can’t say i’m proud of…i love “me” now. because, i can look back over the years…the very full, very painful years and i can embrace them as mine…my experiences…my learning experiences. each one has been a building block for who i am today and it is the “me”, today, that i’m evaluating.

that ever changing, never static factor in the equation of my life…me.

you know, i’m not the victim of life’s circumstances and emotions anymore…they are not bombarding me, pushing me around, with me, simply reacting to one stimulus then the next. no….i am not a victim. i have some control over my self…personal responsibility and accountability…being pro-active and not reactive. i have decisions to make and actions to take.

acting on life, not letting life act on me!

everything i encounter is now an opportunity…to learn, to practice what i learned “last time”, to put into motion, my action…not reaction. i may be powerless over people, places and things…but me…how i perceive, approach and handle any given situation, emotion…what ever…that is up to me. and that is awesome!

so, today i’m feeling the wear and aches from over doing it the other day…wasn’t so wise a thing to do but, darn was it a wonderful day…i laughed so much and that was absolutely the best! it’s kind of cool to look and consider some years ago…a day would have only been a good day if it involved a major accomplishment at work, buying something new or a guy and of course a lot of alcohol! a few of those things could still feel good enough, but if i didn’t have laughter, if i didn’t do something good for someone else…healthy mind/soul/body things…those things have to be in the mix or…well…that’s the only way i can feel good about a day now. i have that small list…did you: pray or meditate; read your daily meditation; exercise; eat well; call some friends (a sponsee or sponsor); laugh; read; listen to music; get outside and “play”; do something with the dogs and horses; clean a part of the house; go to an meeting (AA)….there are just some things i should really do everyday…then, also, meet any committments i have…

don’t get me wrong…these days are rough…it isn’t easy. i’m vulnerable to feeling pain…anger, hopelessness and all. no, it’s not a matter of not experiencing what comes my way…it’s a matter of how long those feelings, thoughts and emotions stick around and what i do with them…not what they do with me. i’m by no means perfect this way…as we say…it’s progress not perfection.

and i…am perfectly imperfect!

(oh, i’m down to .5mg klonopin and still taking the lyrica.)

my prayers continue to go out to bob fiddaman and all of you!

peace out!

fiddaman links:

re: GSK’s legal intimidation of bob fiddaman and his fair and truthful video about glaxosmithkline and paxil:

bob f’s original video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odAcIY6I_do

fiddaman’s site: http://fiddaman.blogspot.com/2008/03/gsk-lawyers-target-seroxat-campaigner.html

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