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i haven’t been on line for a very long time. being able to pay attention and put even a few words together, focusing on a topic has been out of my reach for a while. i finished taking the klonopin and all of my meds april 25, ’08. it hasn’t been long. but the withdrawal, rebound…what was going on…not a good time.

but, knock on wood, i think things are getting a dab better. i do have some pretty “normal” days that all my senses are intact, my mind seems to be working well but i guess the best feeling is just not feeling “me”…my body or mind. no, i’m not saying i’m numbed out. it was just the constant bombardment of symptoms, side effects, psychological stuff…i was just too aware of me. it’s nice to walk around and be able to see, smell, hear, pay attention to other things that are going on. withdrawal began to feel like the worst prison i could imagine…trapped in my own, very sick and going crazy body!

i like feeling like i’m in touch with the world around me. usually i say that and hear that from others when they’re recovering from alcoholism and addictions! been down that block. this was worse…way worse. but i can cry and sometimes laugh…i do some creative things and have really gotten into cleaning out and organizing my sinfully messy home…i had lost all emotions but had anger, depression and severe anxiety. those bad ones are still with me, but they are much more quiet. i did decide to take some very low doses of two meds that are pretty weak in the spectrum of psych meds, but i’m sure they’re still not great for me. i just needed a break and those tiny doses of neurontin and wellbutrin have given me a holding place i think. i think i’ll rest here for a few months and then regroup and reassess.

so…i’ve been running a support group for fibromyalgia for all these months that i’ve been absent. i will also start yoga teacher training in september. let’s hope i can maintain…i think i can if i just believe.

after all…faith is all i really have. i have to believe.

peace!

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since fibromyalgia is a complex disorder that requires a multi-disciplined approach in its treatment. there is no one correct, end-all, be-all approach for all people. in the beginning (before ’01) i had gained a lot of weight (i am typically pretty small) and my ability to exercise and manage much of anything had disappeared. not exactly the person you meet today. but from the beginning i had been advised by every doctor i saw to push through the fatigue and pain. it seemed overwhelming and i could not understand why they would ask me to do that. but i did a endless hours of research over the years and began to do what my docs and the research were telling me. i discovered focus on relaxation and exercise is many fold and is supported by all major research and medical foundations such as the arthritis foundation and mayo clinic. it seemed to me that people who were getting better  were the ones who’d found relief when they have adopted a routine including exercise, relaxation, healthy sleeping habit and other life management skills. this adaptation was not easy and i was faced with it before i had a diagnosis. i am not more motivated or have less pain than anyone else. i’m a fairly average person. so, i’ve felt hurt when people look at me and say “you’re just stronger” or “well your pain’s not that bad”. but not every day is good and fatigue drags me down to a halt during flairs.
the person you meet (on a good day) today, is not the person i had become years back. it took major attitude adjustments (2×4’s to the head, knees, legs, feet…) and learning…trying things and failing…to find some relief from the most disturbing aspects of this disorder. but first i had to become open minded and willing. the pain was in my body, but as i’ve seen with so many others in some horrible chronic situations…it’s all about the attitude! that’s no small thing. i fought everyone and didn’t think they knew what they were asking me to do! i was angry all the time. i couldn’t understand and i thought my doctors were quacks and incompetent. now, my song is changing as i’ve changed. they’ve become my partners in trying to make it through this maze. but i still get tired and the pain flairs…i still have days that i feel i can’t do anything. i have bad attitude days…and that can be expected. i have to remind myself that i didn’t make myself sick, but with help, i can get myself muchbetter. slowly i’m noticing progress. but it’s progress not perfection!
 
regarding exercise, i learned it must be geared towards the person with fibromyalgia. “regular” exercise classes are often too strenuous and fibro patients leave because they do not benefit from those. exercise done incorrectly (for a fibro patient) can, in fact, exacerbate the pain and fatigue. the gentle exercise outlined by the arthritis foundation and others will work, but it takes time and doing and must be done as regularly as possible. that coupled with correcting sleep disorders (the gentle exercise goes a long way to do that by reducing pain, raising serotonin, releasing endorphins and helping us to be tired at night…avoiding sleep during the day) because lack of sleep compounds and results in most of the symptoms fibro patients deal with, when healthy sleep patterns are restored most symptoms improve or disappear via that channel as well.
 
for me, my fibro seemed beyond debilitating…my life as i knew it stopped. for years things got worse until i couldn’t take it. it was either end this life or try this option…(yes i’ve become totally despondent and hoped for death rather than living like this). the medications never helped and any other passivetreatment i tried…didn’t help. from all research i had gathered, and on line support networks i had participated in, this is the one of the best medicines that seems to have been offered, not only to me but far too many others who i’ve communicated with or read their stories. it can sound disheartening to leave a doctor’s office with the advice being go and exercise and get better sleep (god i came to you for help and you tell me to go help myself?), but there is a reason for that. for one dr.s and research do not have a clear enough picture of what fibro is…and believe it or not…this is not the only disorder that the person with the job description of “doctor” has to deal with. with still foggy descriptions of what fibro might be and how it mightbe treated…they all do their best. the ground rules are somewhat clearer, but still, not exact or complete. rheumatologists are, at this time, the recognized specialists for fibro…at this time. that is where the major advancements are being made in treatment and diagnosis.
 
at this time there is no pill or treatment that has the long term, wide reaching benefits that countless research efforts have shown with the exercise, sleep and stress management protocols. combined, they do work if we let them. a doctor can’t do that for us…i believe that we are personally responsible for our care. i found that when i stopped being angry at the medical community and started helping myself…i improved. the reasons for that, again are multi-fold. that shift resulted in self-empowerment and knowledge which goes a long way to helping us feel better and regain a foothold in a life that has…slipped away. we regain a sense of self and self-esteem that we lost to criticism and doubt. when no one could seem to help us our self-esteem shattered as people questioned “why can’t you just pull it together and stop spending all of your time in dr.s’ offices?”…like that’s what you really wanted…but true…you were going to have to start paying rent at your dr.s’ appointments.
 
we never like to hear that “it’s all in our heads”. all chronically ill people fight that stigma at different stages of their process. but the most significant change for the better in our treatment does happen in our minds. when our outlook and attitude changes…our prognosis improves. this is true of any chronic illness or situation. fibromyalgia is not unique that way. and if you’ve read my blogg you know that i’ve dealt with a few chronic illnesses.
 
all though by no means is “exercise” the only protocol i’veused, as many disciplines are necessary to reboot a life that has been halted by fibromyalgia, hopefully the group (a new support group in town) can bring ways of implementing various protocols that are tailored to the person with fibromyalgia. while we hope for other medical progress to be made in bring relief for the major symptoms of pain and fatigue, etc, that may still be long in coming and this is the “best practice” at this time. chances are that this will always be a standard protocol as it is and has been for decades, for so many chronic disorders and well…just living well.
i will share that i take lyrica…i think it helps some but i’m not fond of the side effects. i’ve taken it regularly for several months and was on neurontin for years before it. i hope that some of the protocols i’m following might allow me to get off the lyrica too, but in time…one thing at a time.
some good fibro links:
national fibromyalgia research association: http://www.nfra.net/nfra-resource.htm
fibromyalgia network http://www.fmnetnews.com/
national fibromyalgia network: http://www.fmaware.org/site/PageServer

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this isn’t really news…but it was released again today…from the fiercepharma newsletter:

5. Neurontin fails bipolar med review

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Review the research on epilepsy meds, and what do you find? Neurontin (gabapentin), is no better than placebo for bipolar disorder, according to the Prescribing for Better Outcomes center at the University of North Carolina.

A bunch of “very poor quality articles,” however, seemed to support a positive effect–and those articles were cited and re-cited in the scientific literature, creating an “echo chamber effect.” Hearing it over and over, doctors were led to believe that Neurontin worked for bipolar patients, and prescribed it to lots and lots of them.

Ironically, the epilepsy-med review came courtesy of the 2004 Neurontin marketing settlement, under which Pfizer paid $430 million to settle off-label allegations. Some 94 percent of the drug’s sales in 2002 were off-label, the government said at the time.

– see the item in the WSJ Health Blog
– check out one of the center’s new papers from their drug review

Related Articles:
Pfizer might be liable for generic Neurontin. Pfizer report
Court: Pfizer can defend Neurontin patent. Report

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looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults. how does everyone navigate their mazes of healthy living?

hi,
i’ve been out trying to catch up on all that has been let slide, while the withdrawal process has been a little too rough to manage well. this spring weather and sun has been great medicine. and…i’m so sick of being stuck inside over the winter, not feeling well, that i just have to be out there in the sun! but i’m at .25mg of klonopin and hanging in there with the lyrica (and yes, the lyrica is a bit of a problem for me). i’m glad to say that i’m substance free, barring those two! (off lamictal, neurontin and wellbutrin to name a few) it’s progress! soon they’ll be gone too.

since i have my withdrawal tied into a re appearance of my fibromyalgia…navigating between what is fibro and what’s benzo withdrawal has seemed difficult. i guess i’m feeling that it doesn’t matter which is causing symptoms since they’re nearly identical. the protocol for managing either of them is really the same. so i feel trying to fritter away over the details may be time just…frittered away.

has anyone experienced such co existing conditions? i think the “trauma” of withdrawal triggered the fibro, as it might trigger other similar conditions (chronic pain, CFS). i’ve read a lot of research on fibro and usually there is a “traumatic” event (illness, loss, etc) that precipitates the initial onset of fibro and once you have fibro…such events will trigger a reappearance of symptoms.

since my ultimate goal is to be free of pharmaceutical drugs…i don’t want to follow my dr.s’ impulse to pull out the prescription pad at the appearance of a new symptom. fibro and benzo withdrawal host a variety of shared symptoms…that’s just how it is. but, we all seem to be on the same page now and my docs and i seem to agree that, for me, consistently working towards lifestyle adjustments are the best medicine.

maintaining momentum is hard. there are many times that i don’t feel i have the energy, or i have too much pain to deal with the physical therapy, staying on a certain nutritional path and doing all that i need to do to support myself. but when i can get myself on a roll…create a momentum from the time i wake up (yes, personal velocity!)…and maintain it, i do better. yes it’s a struggle. i get very frustrated as my symptoms and treatment pull me in seemingly opposite directions at times. it takes everything i have, to get going in the right direction and maintain it. i often want to stop and nap, but if i slow down part way through the day, i will find myself down for the count, feeling achy and bad. i need to maintain my momentum and use my personal velocity techniques. (the physics of the mind…a great topic!)

finding balance is hard. when i feel good…i really feel good (compared to having felt horrible for months)…i just want to go all out and…for example: i’m walking with a friend…we’re naturally high energy and kind of competitive…the walk will turn into walk/jog…then walk/run and of course it ends in a few races. i’m flying and laughing and it feels just so darn freeing and great! but then…there are the consequences of “over doing it”. i will usually go down for the count, for a day or even two for even a small burst of exertion! i guess it’s similar to being on a restricted diet for diabetes and taking a taste of a desert…well then it tastes so good you eat the whole thing and boom! the sugar high and then crash. well, and the temptation of anything mildly addicting as even exercise can be is hard to resist…as a bipolar…moderation is hard word to pull into my vocabulary…i love my “highs”…i’m also a long recovering alcoholic and addict and believe me…that also lends to my nature of “excess and exploitation”. yes, i can be addicted and abuse my own “feel good” chemicals that my body generates. i can trip my body into full production and ride that puppy! harmless? in excess, actually it does hurt me. abusing my own biological highs will drag me down. and i know a lot of people with similar histories to mine discover and exploit…for example…the “runners high”. another interesting topic to chase!

laughter helps pain, depression, immune system, etc. at least laughing, which helps my pain and depression immensely,  has no ill side effects (for an average person, not post surgery etc.). i can laugh to excess…well except for being seen as obnoxious by those not partaking…there really is nothing bad that can come of excessive laughing. so, laughing is a luxury i can indulge in. i do make an effort to laugh and my friends know the routine. i know all the good places to score a laugh from. i had to take a friend to “evil wal mart” the other day. if you go to the childrens’ toy section…seek out toys like “tickle me elmo”…set off as many as you can. juvenile…yes. but in matters such as these…the need to score a laugh…who cares what anyone thinks! it is never right to score laughter at another person’s expense (it’s not good for your karma, etc). no, no one or thing should be damaged in the process. well, some things can be damaged…i had a pile of old records that had been left in my garage…they’d been water damaged…i had brought my bb gun over and was shooting cans (yes, juvinile hill billy entertainment), but then we decided to play skeet with the records. i shouted “pull”, my friend tossed an album and i shot it in the center area! we laughed and played album skeet for awhile. the album i shot was an old grateful dead album. well…it was dead already.

finding the good, healthy habits in my childhood. i think of things that made me laugh when i was a child. it seems children laugh more often and more freely than adults do. it’s another healthy skill we loose as adults. we’re so groomed to behave ourselves and act like adults that it can smother the very healthful skills that can keep us well. (belly breathing is another skill well loose as we “mature”.)

yes, thinking back to my younger years, unfolds many answers to health in my…gulp…middle age.

so, that’s where the bb gun came from…my youth. when we were younger we spent a lot of time in the northwoods of wisconsin. our parents would be inside playing cards, talking and drinking beer. we’d go in and collect cans as they were emptied, put them up on the log pile and shoot them with a bb gun. as long as the cans kept coming we had a good time. it doesn’t matter that there was always a great presence of alcohol and drinking and thus the behavior issues…darn it the cans and shooting are what i’m going to remember! i may have not had the greatest childhood but i do have many good times i can refer to. looking back at my childhood in this way also helps me “reframe” what has been such a sad portion of my life. i’m learning to pull these great positive things from what was a dark and murky area. gradually, my childhood is becomming a wonderful resource! cool side effect.

looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. i look towards embracing my personal velocity to hold on to my momentum which will carry me through the day. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults.

just how does everyone else find their way through the mazes that can lead to healthy living?

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well…i haven’t written or really been on line for the last few days. i’m a bit rushed this morning but, i guess when you get to feeling better for a bit, things get busy as you paddle to catch up. and there’s just the catching up inspite of not feeling great. the darn fibro alone simply wears on me, trying to make all my appointments and obligations. when i get home i can barely focus to read, let alone write.

i still maintain that getting off the benzos is a good thing…it’s means so much to be completely clean and then, “on top” of what is going into my body and how it’s affecting me.  while i want to rush and just dump this last .25 mgs, i will have to try to be patient…this weekend i’ll cut to about .13mgs, then i will be off the benzo/klonopin by the next weekend. there will be “aftershocks” even after the final dose…but i’m familiar with that route. being a recovering alcoholic who was addicted to pain meds for years as well, has offered me many “benefits” in this arena…my personal experience and mostly those of my peers!

i have several friends who’ve successfully detoxed off pmeds and are living good lives now. they inspire me.

i will be off all of my meds when i take that last klonopin in less than 2 weeks! that means no more: lamictal, wellbutrin, neurontin and klonopin as well as a mix of other prn meds.

geesh…the docs were all too willing to get me dosed up for over a decade…well two…but where did they go when i wanted help getting off an addicting benzodiazapine that was only being maintained…really…to avoid going through withdrawal. after the first couple of months the benzo was no longer providing the desired effect at 2-3mgs! i was hanging in some suspended place all of those years…the dose simply being like a “space holder”. attempts to go off did reveal symptoms…OF WITHDRAWAL! but the doc and all, had me convinced that those symptoms were from my “illness”, i needed to stay on the klonopin…and no one…NOT ONE professional ever suggested, strongly enough, that prolonged use of a benzo could be causing the chronic depression and fatigue i had succumbed to after a the first couple of years of adhering to my doctors orders with my meds! granted i was wresting with the fibro too…but all the more reason to get clean!

i know i may be moving fast compared to the schedule many others maintain. there are many who do agree with my approach and have done a similar program. but, i have no physician or practioner supporting and guiding what i’m doing (not by choice). the side effects roll in like the waves in the ocean…but there would be side effects if i went slow and i can’t see dealing with this discomfort for a year if i can bear with it all for about a total of no more than 12 weeks. yes that’s me sticking to a schedule even if it’s rough on my body. but staying on this drug is more damaging than getting off could ever be.

i take a lot of supportive measures with nutrition, meditation, exercise, laughter and friends. for me, i have to try to be on track by june to hopefully start back to classes

yes, our bodys do tend to follow their own schedule but…if i followed this darn body around i don’t know where i’d be! probably where i am, because that’s what i’ve been doing!

…so i rush…at this point no set of symptoms can trump what i deal with, having fibromyalgia, and thus set me back to changing my approach to my taper schedule. as i see it…if i back off my schedule…maintain or up the klonopin dsg to way-lay symptoms…i’m prolonging the inevitable. i’m already sick and draging, so what’s a little more if i can have this over with in as timely a maner as possible. i’ve lost so many years and time is precious.

 it’s been a rough and bumpy ride. the days are unpredictable packages of fog, fritz, fatigue and pain, punctuated with a clarity that motivates me to get clean. i’m so grateful to be able to detox…

many won’t have the chance to detox for a variety of reasons.

rough as detox is…it is a gift.

there is no pain-free, side effect free, way to withdraw from anything! i know this from experience…mine and other’s.

i have had many good hours but few completely good days. when i feel good i have a habit of “binging” on my available energy and lack of pain. of course the flip side is that i get wiped out, and feel the “hurt” of my fibro. i think the lyrica is being helpful, the most severe pain symptoms have abated, but i fight the fog and jittery feelings (which can be debilitating).

i don’t want to mess with the lyrica right now because the only thing i’m changing for now, is the decreasing doses of klonopin. a few weeks after the klonopin is gone i’ll work with my physician to tweek the lyrica and make decisions about managing my fibro. with the flood of symptoms i have from detox it’s hard to weed out which symptom is attributed to detox and which belongs to the fibro. oh, lest we forget this issue of bipolar… so one thing at a time.

my driving reason for wanting off all of my pmeds was the crazy overlap and layering of drugs that led me to where i just couldn’t tell what emotions and situations were me or my meds!

from now on the motto is to “keep it very simple and stay the course”.

and for now,

peace out!

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yesterday was an interesting day…i started off feeling pretty bad….fatigue, anxiety, brain zaps…but i was asked to give a lead so i had to pull it together and get into town in the later afternoon. i went to my women’s mtg (AA) and it was interesting. later i ran into a girl was having a very bad time dealing with her fibro and i went up and talked with her…we weaved through the usual and interesting thing…she mentioned the drugs she was on and said that a tiny amount of cymbalta had really helped her but then she mentioned the lyrica and i told her i was on that too. she said it was giving her tachicardia and anxiety type feelings…kind of like if you’d drank too much coffee! wow, i had to tell here that i had been having that problem too but that i was attributing it to detoxing off benzos. hmmmm, ok…then i gave another girl a ride to where i was going to give my lead and on the way we weaved through our med nightmares. we had both wrestled with lamictal and were comming off klonopin but then she said she’d been given lyrica (she wasn’t in on the previous conversation) and she said it made her feel like she’d drank too much coffee and i just blurted “me too!”. 

(aside here…fellow bloggers…what happened to the spell checker when they changed the format here? i reeeeally need it) 

so, this morning i opened my 150mg. lyrica and poured about half of it out…not the most exact way but my eye is pretty good and i can’t afford to get another prescription for 75’s right now. i know i won’t get a good reception if i say i want off so i’ve grown to avoid that discussion with my docs. but i don’t want to stay on this anymore.

i seem to see a trend in that, the more refined a drug is the worse the side effects seem to be. now i took neurontin (gabapentin, and lyrica is pregabalin…they’re related) and really had no lingering side effects (that i could notice) but it never made me real jittery like the lyrica. it could give me a lift at times but…so with all the bad press on lyrica…and i don’t have time to pull articles right now…

i want off my lyrica. since i’m in this rural and kinda underserved area and my docs are just not into my being off my meds i have to do what i can on my own. not medically sound but, around here the sound medical thing seems to be to load up on meds! so…i’ll be “unsound” for now. the worse thing that can happen (and i have well over 11 years of dealing with these drugs so…), is i won’t feel so super great…but anxiety and depression don’t freak me out and i have healthy ways of dealing with even extreme feelings…they’re not emotions…they are feelings from the meds, and for me…i can tell the difference.

worse comes to worse…i go to sleep…breath deep…go to my “special place” (guided imagery)…and sleep it off. i do some stretching, yoga and even when i feel like my hair’s going to fly off and my eyes pop out…i get outside, play with my dogs and throw out some laughs and “i love you”s. yes it’s the “fake it ’til you make it”, “behave your way into right thinking” and old “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” approach. (please bear with my tough gal stuff…things do get very bad for me too) but having few medical resources…being very familiar with my body and mind…having a lot of discipline in yoga, meditation etc., i can usually pull my “rough rider” approach to surviving this. i don’t expect others to do this and there’ve been times i can’t drag myself up to do either…but the alternatives are not good. yes i have my “whimpy” days when i curl up and sob and get angry at god…goodness have i had fights with my god. but, as my one friend tells me…”you have this can-do attitude” and i just barrel through things. i don’t expect others to have this sort of cowboy mentality and perhaps i don’t hope this for others either…

this attitude of mine came from years of abuse and being told by my parents that i “couldn’t be sick” (just not allowed)…i was a hypochondriac…”oh just stop complaining”. then there’s been a medical community that’s given me a similar reception at times…so what do you do? well if you mean to survive this crazy maze of life, and i started at an early age, i guess you cop an attitude like mine. i still keep to myself a lot. i’ve grown to embrace aspects of it. writing this blog is very out of character because (you don’t air your dirty laundy mentality) i tend to avoid admitting not being well or that i’m stumbling, i hide it from people as much as i can. i don’t call my sponsor when i should (AA). it leads to some isolation at times and i shouldn’t be so much that way. ya know…it’s probably ok for me to show up at my meetings looking like crap and dragging some days…when i feel like crap and i’m dragging…other people do it, and i guess it’s just part of being human and working through recovery…but that’s a hard pill for me to swallow!

i would have gladly accepted the help of a good doctor and i have had a few over the years. i think it’s great when people find a doc who works with them and they get help. having bad days and struggling is not a sign of weakness or failure…it comes with the territory. living with mental illness and then the meds is a very hard life at times. some tenderness and self-forgiveness…going easy on yourself is definately in line.

[please note:  this is aobut my experience and is by no means advice! if you have a doctor who will work with you…at all…use him/her.]

peace out!

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well last night started about week 6 of my detox off my psych meds.  i went to taking .75mg of my klonopin whch i’m hoping signals 3 weeks left. from what i’ve read on others’ blogs, this can be the time when it’s going to get a little rougher. i’m not really feeling the change from 1mg to .75mg this morning. usually i’ve felt the change over the first 2 days or so then it levels out a bit.

it’s difficult to figure if my discomforts are comming from withdrawal or my fibromyalgia. but i’m going to do my best to push through this. i’m kind of a member of the school of thought that i’d rather to just rip off the bandaid, than pull it slowly…so to speak. i was a gymnast and danced until i was 30, so having chronic pain was something i was always able work through. but over those years i was not on phsych meds and i didn’t have a chronic pain condition other than the constant shin splints, bruises and pulled muscles, etc…i’m am fairly hardy and a die hard and often a bit of a “pollyanna”…those qualities have usually pulled me through many of my hard times. but i have to be honest that this detox and fibromyalgia flair is kicking my butt!

i have an appointment to start physical therapy this week and that should be good for giving me a nudge in my activity level. as for it helping with my neck pain though…i’ve been down this route so many times in the last 11-12 years and nothing, not even the physical therapy has helped my neck pain. i have degenrative disk, osteoporosis and bone spurs…it’s on the left side of my C5, C6 and it’s starting to cause pain down my left arm! the up in the Lyrica only did something for the first couple of days but that has worn off like it did when i first started taking it. it seems we up the dose, it works a bit for a few of days, then my pain seems to quickly find a new level or route so it seems the lyrica isn’t really helping.

a question: now i have to wonder about Lyrica. since lyrica is pregabalin and neurontin (which i had been on for over 10 yrs) is gabapentin and then you can buy straight gaba in the health food store…besides the lyrica and neurontin being put through some kind of refining process or whatever they do…well aren’t they each basically the same thing to some degree or another? and, if they are…the lyrica is not a “preferred” drug in my policy and it’s very expensive at $50 (until i hit my doughnut hole) vs $5 for neurontin or about $20 for the gaba in the health food store. so, going over the costs is one issue but the true effectiveness and safety are another. is refining gaba really making it better for us or can we do as well taking simple gaba?

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