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Archive for the ‘chronic fatigue’ Category

since fibromyalgia is a complex disorder that requires a multi-disciplined approach in its treatment. there is no one correct, end-all, be-all approach for all people. in the beginning (before ’01) i had gained a lot of weight (i am typically pretty small) and my ability to exercise and manage much of anything had disappeared. not exactly the person you meet today. but from the beginning i had been advised by every doctor i saw to push through the fatigue and pain. it seemed overwhelming and i could not understand why they would ask me to do that. but i did a endless hours of research over the years and began to do what my docs and the research were telling me. i discovered focus on relaxation and exercise is many fold and is supported by all major research and medical foundations such as the arthritis foundation and mayo clinic. it seemed to me that people who were getting better  were the ones who’d found relief when they have adopted a routine including exercise, relaxation, healthy sleeping habit and other life management skills. this adaptation was not easy and i was faced with it before i had a diagnosis. i am not more motivated or have less pain than anyone else. i’m a fairly average person. so, i’ve felt hurt when people look at me and say “you’re just stronger” or “well your pain’s not that bad”. but not every day is good and fatigue drags me down to a halt during flairs.
the person you meet (on a good day) today, is not the person i had become years back. it took major attitude adjustments (2×4’s to the head, knees, legs, feet…) and learning…trying things and failing…to find some relief from the most disturbing aspects of this disorder. but first i had to become open minded and willing. the pain was in my body, but as i’ve seen with so many others in some horrible chronic situations…it’s all about the attitude! that’s no small thing. i fought everyone and didn’t think they knew what they were asking me to do! i was angry all the time. i couldn’t understand and i thought my doctors were quacks and incompetent. now, my song is changing as i’ve changed. they’ve become my partners in trying to make it through this maze. but i still get tired and the pain flairs…i still have days that i feel i can’t do anything. i have bad attitude days…and that can be expected. i have to remind myself that i didn’t make myself sick, but with help, i can get myself muchbetter. slowly i’m noticing progress. but it’s progress not perfection!
 
regarding exercise, i learned it must be geared towards the person with fibromyalgia. “regular” exercise classes are often too strenuous and fibro patients leave because they do not benefit from those. exercise done incorrectly (for a fibro patient) can, in fact, exacerbate the pain and fatigue. the gentle exercise outlined by the arthritis foundation and others will work, but it takes time and doing and must be done as regularly as possible. that coupled with correcting sleep disorders (the gentle exercise goes a long way to do that by reducing pain, raising serotonin, releasing endorphins and helping us to be tired at night…avoiding sleep during the day) because lack of sleep compounds and results in most of the symptoms fibro patients deal with, when healthy sleep patterns are restored most symptoms improve or disappear via that channel as well.
 
for me, my fibro seemed beyond debilitating…my life as i knew it stopped. for years things got worse until i couldn’t take it. it was either end this life or try this option…(yes i’ve become totally despondent and hoped for death rather than living like this). the medications never helped and any other passivetreatment i tried…didn’t help. from all research i had gathered, and on line support networks i had participated in, this is the one of the best medicines that seems to have been offered, not only to me but far too many others who i’ve communicated with or read their stories. it can sound disheartening to leave a doctor’s office with the advice being go and exercise and get better sleep (god i came to you for help and you tell me to go help myself?), but there is a reason for that. for one dr.s and research do not have a clear enough picture of what fibro is…and believe it or not…this is not the only disorder that the person with the job description of “doctor” has to deal with. with still foggy descriptions of what fibro might be and how it mightbe treated…they all do their best. the ground rules are somewhat clearer, but still, not exact or complete. rheumatologists are, at this time, the recognized specialists for fibro…at this time. that is where the major advancements are being made in treatment and diagnosis.
 
at this time there is no pill or treatment that has the long term, wide reaching benefits that countless research efforts have shown with the exercise, sleep and stress management protocols. combined, they do work if we let them. a doctor can’t do that for us…i believe that we are personally responsible for our care. i found that when i stopped being angry at the medical community and started helping myself…i improved. the reasons for that, again are multi-fold. that shift resulted in self-empowerment and knowledge which goes a long way to helping us feel better and regain a foothold in a life that has…slipped away. we regain a sense of self and self-esteem that we lost to criticism and doubt. when no one could seem to help us our self-esteem shattered as people questioned “why can’t you just pull it together and stop spending all of your time in dr.s’ offices?”…like that’s what you really wanted…but true…you were going to have to start paying rent at your dr.s’ appointments.
 
we never like to hear that “it’s all in our heads”. all chronically ill people fight that stigma at different stages of their process. but the most significant change for the better in our treatment does happen in our minds. when our outlook and attitude changes…our prognosis improves. this is true of any chronic illness or situation. fibromyalgia is not unique that way. and if you’ve read my blogg you know that i’ve dealt with a few chronic illnesses.
 
all though by no means is “exercise” the only protocol i’veused, as many disciplines are necessary to reboot a life that has been halted by fibromyalgia, hopefully the group (a new support group in town) can bring ways of implementing various protocols that are tailored to the person with fibromyalgia. while we hope for other medical progress to be made in bring relief for the major symptoms of pain and fatigue, etc, that may still be long in coming and this is the “best practice” at this time. chances are that this will always be a standard protocol as it is and has been for decades, for so many chronic disorders and well…just living well.
i will share that i take lyrica…i think it helps some but i’m not fond of the side effects. i’ve taken it regularly for several months and was on neurontin for years before it. i hope that some of the protocols i’m following might allow me to get off the lyrica too, but in time…one thing at a time.
some good fibro links:
national fibromyalgia research association: http://www.nfra.net/nfra-resource.htm
fibromyalgia network http://www.fmnetnews.com/
national fibromyalgia network: http://www.fmaware.org/site/PageServer
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if you have fibromyalgia you have wrestled with your mental acuity and cognitive functions but probably have been told that “what you’re going through is just normal” or maybe “you’re hypersensitive” and you feel like you’re going crazy!  well this research piece from the national fibromyalgia association may help you feel validated…people with FMS do experience loss of cognitive function…

Cognitive Function & Fibromyalgia

by Jennifer Glass, Ph.D. and Denise Park, Ph.D., The University of Michigan

“I can deal with the pain, but the memory and thinking problems really worry me.”  “The physical symptoms weren’t as frightening as the memory problems.”  “The most devastating effect for me has been the cognitive impairment.”

If you have fibromyalgia (FM), then these quotes may describe what you have felt as well. Many FM patients complain of cognitive (or mental) symptoms such as memory failures (both long-term and short-term), difficulties with attention, and with finding the right words. Our research focuses on these cognitive problems in FM patients.

Our research shows that there really is cognitive dysfunction in FM patients.  read the article: http://www.fmaware.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5280

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april 25, 2008…hopefully that will be the day i can say was the first day i went with out taking a benzodiazapine, klonopin. it would be tempting to say that today ends an 11+ year addiction and a several month struggle to safely  off the drug. no, today is really the beginning of this new chapter in my life. years of therapy, involvement in AA and a relatively brief withdrawal period have offered me many opportunities to develop life skills and tools for dealing with life.

the biggest problem i’m perceiving right now is sleep. the last couple of weeks have been filled with poor sleep patterns. poor sleep is also a part of the territory that comes with fibromyalgia (d/x, 2001)…so it’s a bit of a double whammy here. healthy sleep is not really negotiable (not even in a healthy person). getting a good night’s sleep can be a larger determining factor in how the next day will go, over about any other factors there may be! if something isn’t going well, it’s usually attributed to not sleeping. like this morning…my thinking is still cloudy, i’m just wiped out and the pain is “annoying”. yes, i’m taking 300mg of lyrica and the first two symptoms i mentioned can be side effects of that drug…but i’ve been taking lyrica for several weeks now, and those other issues always become more intense when i’m going through bouts of poor sleep.

as we all know well, by now, healthy sleep is kind of the human version of “rebooting”.  sleep supports our immune system, rebuilds and repairs our body, it helps with fatigue, pain, depression to name a few. even irritable bowel can improve when sleep is regulated (but flairs when sleep is poor).

an aside/rant: many of us prefer not to take drugs/meds to manage symptoms. i’m joined with that school of thought. i want to discover the root cause of my problems and find a way to improve my overall health. yes, modern medicine is obsessed (and rakes in the cash) with chasing symptoms. honestly, every med that i’ve been prescribed was given to simply manage a symptom but never was there any meaningful help in addressing the cause of my problems. ok, by my own admission, i’m a little nutty…i have had mental health issues…but my life is not simply composed of symptoms…my disorders are real. i have real disorders with real diagnosis. i hate being manged differently than non-mental health patients. but that’s a discrimination that is older than time, and honestly…i have problems with the same discrimination issues raising in my own mind when dealing with another mentally ill person. so, i understand where docs and others are coming from. but fact remains that efforts to get off addicting medicines and deal with disorders like fibromyalgia can require good medical support if a patient hopes to be successful in navigating.for the most part, many of us have waded through these waters with our own research and the support of our peers who are doing the same. in this information age, that’s not so bad. taking action to manage our own health care can help empower us and put us in the driver seat. that boost in self-esteem is a tremendous aid in dealing with any disorder.

now, achieving good sleep hygiene…there are sleep specialists everywhere, so many good articles and so much research done in this area, that it’s almost amazing that we, americans, have such tremendous struggles with this 1/3 of our daily cycle. but then you look at our whacked out lifestyles and it’s no surprise. we are a society geared toward promoting and supporting frantic, ADHD-like living! how can we possibly prioritize doing “nothing” for 8 hours!

you gotta look at your other 16 hours and evaluate them. how are you feeling, are you effective…the entire list. if those 16 hours, that you’ve now turned into 20, are not the greatest, then…you can probably optimize your original 16 into being more functional and productive than the 20 if, you give those silly 8 hours of, doing nothing but sleeping, a high priority. those 8 hours of sleep will do more to determine how the next 16 will go, than any efforts expended during those 16 hours, or almost any drug, relationship, meal…you name it. no, life can’t be all about sleeping…but it really is.  i believe we can only go apx. 5 days with out any sleep (more or less). we will become psychotic, our systems will shut down. i’ve read rats only live 2-3 weeks with out sleep…whatever the exact measures…fact is we can’t live without sleep.

personally i try to break my life down in to three 8 hour portions. my 8 hours of sleep must be done in the same slot…together. but my 8 hours that should be work and 8 hours of general living: transportation, chores, eating, socializing, personal care…they can often be shuffled a bit. but i find breaking things down this way, budgeting and scheduling, actually gives me more time. i find time i didn’t know i had.

so in using tactics like that, i find that i can safely set aside 8 hours to manage my sleep. it is do-able and essential. i have to think…i would not just not show upfor work or class, or decide to work only 3 hours out of an 8 hour day…i make meetings a “must do” priority…why can’t i do that with sleep? well…now…at 45, after being clobbered with illness, i would never try to cheat on the time i give to sleeping. i try very hard to avoid naps and try to keep to a regular schedule.  here is a  page on webmd that has a variety of articles about sleep: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/default.htm i needn’t go into extensive lists here.

i’m sure most of you have been down this research road many times, as sleep disorders effect all of us. when you have to deal with meds and chronic disorders…this issue becomes a fact of life…and dealing with it is nearly a life or death issue. i probably needn’t remind many of you, but i need to remind myself. i’m falling back into a horrible sleep tangle again and meds are not an option…i gotta do it through lifestyle.

so, tonight, i’m going to bed without any klonopin, and upping my melatonin. enjoy your precious 8 hours.

peace out

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i would like to say that this is another journey i don’t want to see come to an end but i’d be lying. detoxing off of my psych meds has made my top three list of most difficult things to do. but to think that it ends here would be…well let’s say getting the drugs out of the system is a only a portion and beginning of journey.

as i learned from getting sober…more than once…there are a lot of life skills i need to acquire, to make up for what i was depending on the drugs to do. i was lucky in that i’ve had a great foundation and have worked with some people who’ve really put me to work! i see so many people living with the illusion that the drugs/meds are “the therapy”. gosh folks, if we don’t know by now, we’ll never learn…that they are only a brief/portion means to an end. they can help clear things up and and make a newly diagnosed person a little more capable of coping (which in the beginning can feel like a lot). but if you do not develop a good set of life skills to depend on…you will start heading off in an even worse direction. and, having mental illness, depression, bipolar, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or any chronic disorder…we shouldn’t feel singled out as having an added burden of the need to learn these skills…granted we might have some more work to do, but all people would be wise, to be conscious of these simple, almost obvious skills that need to be created and sharpened.

i just have to say, that being on line with this journey has been one the greatest, free, adjunct therapies i could recommend. i’ve been able to put my stuff out there, and receive input. i’ve had the chance to read other people’s experiences and tips and have good exchanges of information and support! the support to gather more information and research…to be an informed consumer and participant in managing my life has been invaluable.

but, my journey is just beginning. the meds may be gone by the weekend but learning to live with out them is the next…the real part of the journey. i got off these meds so my life would be better and now it is time to set my sights on that process. i will still have the lyrica to contend with, but one thing at a time…doing to much at one time was part of the mess i got into.

in the past i’ve discussed various things that i’ve been picking up over the years and past months…such things to look at as: laughter, spirituality, brain exercises for mental acuity, using support groups (blogging), etc…there is a lot of discussion about diet, exercise and supplements in everyone’s blogs. all of these things are great life skills to work on that make our life’s great. i am still being exposed to more books and practices that support healthy living. that learning, is never ending.

i’m really looking forward to continuing my journey off meds both on line as well as…in my life. i do feel reeeeally good! (allergies and fibro…i can deal with that) there is much more to come thanks to being able to get off my meds (fellow bloggers), staying sober (AA), good living (counselor, friends, neighbors) and spiritual living (i should go back to church).

so moving forward here. my next effort is getting back into grad school. they could always just say “no”, but they could say yes (maybe with provisions)…but what ever happens…happens. as i get more busy with those ventures i will have less time to write here. but, my writing here is very important to me so, it is something that has to go on the list of “things to do”. if i don’t post much in a week it is likely because i’m doing well. of course when i’m having a more difficult day, i tend to not write either, but let’s go with the thought that i’m not here, because i’m out there putting the metal to the test!

this is just another beginning!

peace out!

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looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults. how does everyone navigate their mazes of healthy living?

hi,
i’ve been out trying to catch up on all that has been let slide, while the withdrawal process has been a little too rough to manage well. this spring weather and sun has been great medicine. and…i’m so sick of being stuck inside over the winter, not feeling well, that i just have to be out there in the sun! but i’m at .25mg of klonopin and hanging in there with the lyrica (and yes, the lyrica is a bit of a problem for me). i’m glad to say that i’m substance free, barring those two! (off lamictal, neurontin and wellbutrin to name a few) it’s progress! soon they’ll be gone too.

since i have my withdrawal tied into a re appearance of my fibromyalgia…navigating between what is fibro and what’s benzo withdrawal has seemed difficult. i guess i’m feeling that it doesn’t matter which is causing symptoms since they’re nearly identical. the protocol for managing either of them is really the same. so i feel trying to fritter away over the details may be time just…frittered away.

has anyone experienced such co existing conditions? i think the “trauma” of withdrawal triggered the fibro, as it might trigger other similar conditions (chronic pain, CFS). i’ve read a lot of research on fibro and usually there is a “traumatic” event (illness, loss, etc) that precipitates the initial onset of fibro and once you have fibro…such events will trigger a reappearance of symptoms.

since my ultimate goal is to be free of pharmaceutical drugs…i don’t want to follow my dr.s’ impulse to pull out the prescription pad at the appearance of a new symptom. fibro and benzo withdrawal host a variety of shared symptoms…that’s just how it is. but, we all seem to be on the same page now and my docs and i seem to agree that, for me, consistently working towards lifestyle adjustments are the best medicine.

maintaining momentum is hard. there are many times that i don’t feel i have the energy, or i have too much pain to deal with the physical therapy, staying on a certain nutritional path and doing all that i need to do to support myself. but when i can get myself on a roll…create a momentum from the time i wake up (yes, personal velocity!)…and maintain it, i do better. yes it’s a struggle. i get very frustrated as my symptoms and treatment pull me in seemingly opposite directions at times. it takes everything i have, to get going in the right direction and maintain it. i often want to stop and nap, but if i slow down part way through the day, i will find myself down for the count, feeling achy and bad. i need to maintain my momentum and use my personal velocity techniques. (the physics of the mind…a great topic!)

finding balance is hard. when i feel good…i really feel good (compared to having felt horrible for months)…i just want to go all out and…for example: i’m walking with a friend…we’re naturally high energy and kind of competitive…the walk will turn into walk/jog…then walk/run and of course it ends in a few races. i’m flying and laughing and it feels just so darn freeing and great! but then…there are the consequences of “over doing it”. i will usually go down for the count, for a day or even two for even a small burst of exertion! i guess it’s similar to being on a restricted diet for diabetes and taking a taste of a desert…well then it tastes so good you eat the whole thing and boom! the sugar high and then crash. well, and the temptation of anything mildly addicting as even exercise can be is hard to resist…as a bipolar…moderation is hard word to pull into my vocabulary…i love my “highs”…i’m also a long recovering alcoholic and addict and believe me…that also lends to my nature of “excess and exploitation”. yes, i can be addicted and abuse my own “feel good” chemicals that my body generates. i can trip my body into full production and ride that puppy! harmless? in excess, actually it does hurt me. abusing my own biological highs will drag me down. and i know a lot of people with similar histories to mine discover and exploit…for example…the “runners high”. another interesting topic to chase!

laughter helps pain, depression, immune system, etc. at least laughing, which helps my pain and depression immensely,  has no ill side effects (for an average person, not post surgery etc.). i can laugh to excess…well except for being seen as obnoxious by those not partaking…there really is nothing bad that can come of excessive laughing. so, laughing is a luxury i can indulge in. i do make an effort to laugh and my friends know the routine. i know all the good places to score a laugh from. i had to take a friend to “evil wal mart” the other day. if you go to the childrens’ toy section…seek out toys like “tickle me elmo”…set off as many as you can. juvenile…yes. but in matters such as these…the need to score a laugh…who cares what anyone thinks! it is never right to score laughter at another person’s expense (it’s not good for your karma, etc). no, no one or thing should be damaged in the process. well, some things can be damaged…i had a pile of old records that had been left in my garage…they’d been water damaged…i had brought my bb gun over and was shooting cans (yes, juvinile hill billy entertainment), but then we decided to play skeet with the records. i shouted “pull”, my friend tossed an album and i shot it in the center area! we laughed and played album skeet for awhile. the album i shot was an old grateful dead album. well…it was dead already.

finding the good, healthy habits in my childhood. i think of things that made me laugh when i was a child. it seems children laugh more often and more freely than adults do. it’s another healthy skill we loose as adults. we’re so groomed to behave ourselves and act like adults that it can smother the very healthful skills that can keep us well. (belly breathing is another skill well loose as we “mature”.)

yes, thinking back to my younger years, unfolds many answers to health in my…gulp…middle age.

so, that’s where the bb gun came from…my youth. when we were younger we spent a lot of time in the northwoods of wisconsin. our parents would be inside playing cards, talking and drinking beer. we’d go in and collect cans as they were emptied, put them up on the log pile and shoot them with a bb gun. as long as the cans kept coming we had a good time. it doesn’t matter that there was always a great presence of alcohol and drinking and thus the behavior issues…darn it the cans and shooting are what i’m going to remember! i may have not had the greatest childhood but i do have many good times i can refer to. looking back at my childhood in this way also helps me “reframe” what has been such a sad portion of my life. i’m learning to pull these great positive things from what was a dark and murky area. gradually, my childhood is becomming a wonderful resource! cool side effect.

looking at how withdrawal can trigger other disorders like fibromyalgia and considering how to perceive and treat the symptoms. i look towards embracing my personal velocity to hold on to my momentum which will carry me through the day. trying to find balance and watching how i can even abuse my own “natural highs”. laughter is a great medicine. remembering the freedoms and habits we came by naturally as children can aid us in how to re develop lost habits that will help us as adults.

just how does everyone else find their way through the mazes that can lead to healthy living?

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today i thought i’d just share a letter i wrote to my counselor this morning…maybe you can relate to it and maybe it’s really scattered and makes no sense but…this is one of those rough mornings….

hi d.,
 
i’m slow to getting around to things, but i’m sending you this e-mail so you have my address.
 
i’m struggling a bit today…no a lot…i just have such bad morning anxiety and it may be the meds and withdrawal. i’ve been trying to navigate this on my own and it’s just maybe a bit too much. some days i feel very good about what i’m doing then the mornings come and the anxiety and i get very frustrated and wish i could atleast cry and i can’t.
 
i’m so sure that getting a break from the meds is something i need…but when i hit these low points…which i’m sure most people do…i get a sort of panic. i guess the most difficult thing i’m dealing with is the aloneness of all of this. even though i do my blog and communicate with the other people trying to withdrawal…the futility of what they’re experiencing is not what i want to have going on for a protracted period of time! who does. i mean…i’ve been living with this same battle of mind and body that has way laid so much of my life already…i just can’t see what i’ve been living, how we’re living…being the story of the rest of my life! it just seems overwhelming for any of us to have to go through at times. i mean, basically, i think i’m a healthy person…after all these years i’m not convinced that i’m so sick that drugs are the only solution. i see a lot of people in AA get off the meds and do well. but the full lives i see people live, that enable them to do well…i can’t always pull myself up and do it all. the energy i’ve been running on is some crazy, disorganized kind of energy, that, while i appear to be doing well i’m not really able to tend to the “details” of my life as i need to.
 
maybe this wishy-washyness is part of getting off the benzos…but other people i’m talking with have health practitioners they can work with and i feel i’m really the only one who’s doing this on my own. no husband, no family…
 
i don’t know…it’s not feeling like such a good day today…well they’ve all been a little rough and when i’m finally around people i’m so happy to be with others that i don’t want to bog things down with my problems…but i go home and i’m alone with them, the emotions. there has to be a good balance. i will even have a bad habit of not sharing those not so good things with you when i come in because at that moment i will be feeling good and then everything will seem ok…for that time…
 
does any of this make any sense? i always feel very disorganized trying to talk about this and my anxiety is pretty high right now.
 
well i don’t think it’s a crisis…this is an ongoing issue…being “peachy” when i’m around people…even you as my counselor…then having these horrible times when no one is around. i really kick myself to pull through the rough spots…but even that gets old and i just want to…not…not do anything. i guess i had to bust myself and write this while i was going through one of those times because when i come in to see you i’ll feel…”just fine”.
 
just so you know an you can maybe pin me down on this one.
note:
i started cutting back on my lyrica because i think the “crazy energy” is comming from that. as, a few friends who’d been put on lyrica shared about their anxiety and feeling like they’d had too much coffee etc.

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detoxing off these meds makes it more of a challenge for me to hold on to my serenity. i’m not as agitated as i was a few weeks ago but…got a few good blows to my finances and other things this morning and now i’m kinda pissy. well, i also got extremely boggy and tired part way through the day yesterday which gave way to my eating the last of my candy stash! as soon as i caught myself i threw out any other junk food that might have been around. that stuff is poison for me and will ruin me into the next day. it’s bad…up there with drinking. well, getting agitated is kind of my default mood too.

so…deep belly breaths here…and now i’m going to try to focus on writing something positive for today! i’m hanging steady at .62mg of klonopin. my pain is actually not bad right now. i don’t know if i can attribute that to the lyrica or the fact that i have way fewer drugs circulating in my system. but, i guess i can be grateful for just having a bit less pain today.

now, my focus (focus, focus, focus now), is going to be….ummmm…lets do something about daily meditations or affirmations! sounds good.

my sponsor has told me to do this and i think it’s a great idea: keep a book of daily affirmations or meditations right next to your bed so when you get up in the morning, before you even get out of bed, you do your reading for the day. it kind of sets a tone or theme for the day  before anything has a chance to derail you. (i even like using them at bedtime to help me sleep.) yes, this is just another “nothing new but good to remember” thing. with so many things whirling about us, this is one more thing we can do that is good for us and no matter what…we can do it and it will help. yeah, there are plenty of days that we are just going to feel bad/awful, but using mindfulness we may be able to make a part of ourself feel ok if not, hopefully pretty darn good or….great!

one thing…when things start to get bad, having a list of these little things you can do…..meditate, eat a good meal, walk, laugh, call a friend…taped to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror can help you see if there’s something you haven’t done today that you might give a try.

just remember that you are very brave and driven as it is, if you are detoxing off of meds, drugs, alcohol etc. it takes quite a hardy soul to take on that battle. it’s jumping off into the unknown with out a safety net most of us have relied upon for decades! that’s amazing and awesome. so, even if this is going to really mess with our bodies and minds for awhile while we’re getting healthy we need to “keep our eyes on the prize” and find little nice things that, no matter how we feel, we can do for ourselves. we need to sustain our emotional (and spiritual) well being. we need to keep that little place in us, which is driving us…we need to keep it fueled. so to feed our motivation (and if it’s like mine today…it’s very hungry). today i have some sites that can help you find some positive words and concepts to focus on. and if you start heading off in an uncomfortable direction today, you can use these words or concepts to try to pull yourself back to a better place. no, i’m not all “skippy-just do-it’s easy”…it can take a lot of strenth to pull it off…but you have it!

here’s a link to a section in the “about.com” site: http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/OvercomingAd1.htm there are many pages covering about any topic you can think of.

perhaps a subscription to a daily might be helpful…

at beliefnet http://www.beliefnet.com/newsletter/step1.aspx 

they have chicken soup for the soul and:

Inspiration
 
Bible Reading
A daily measure of God’s Word – Daily
Saint of the Day
Keep up to date on today’s Saint – Daily
Prayer of the Day
Inspiring prayers from around the world – Daily
Angel Wisdom
Let angels be your guide – Daily
Jewish Wisdom
Wisdom from ancient sages to modern thinkers – Daily
Buddhist Wisdom
Food for thought from the great Buddhist masters – Daily
Hindu Wisdom
Find more meaning with the Vedas, the Gita and more – Daily
Muslim Wisdom
Thought-provoking Qur’anic quotes and more – Daily

and if you want a real book, go on over to amazon…there are hundreds out there…used, for a few bucks. find something to suite your needs. since i’m in AA i really like “a woman’s spirit” and “each day a new beginning” from hazelden meditations. after a decade of good but not perfect use mine is dog eared.

for a start…amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/103-6736159-8733422?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=daily+meditations&x=13&y=13

 keep up the good work!

peace out!

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